Happy Friday, kiddos. Hope you’re ready for the weekend, folks, because it’s all downhill from here in terms of the holiday season. This is the last weekend you are reasonably allowed to ignore your relatives.
Jesse Jackson is an American legend. He is not without his faults, obviously, but his run for president in 1988, on top of all his work as a civil rights activist, will go down in this nation’s history as transformational. A lot of people were prepared to vote for that black man, which is no small matter. He’s now disclosed that he’s been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, an unfortunate turn. I’ve met Jackson a couple of times, and each time it was an enlightening experience. We’re all wishing him well with his health.
Dave Chappelle’s last stand-up was pretty problematic. The comic legend who graced the world with his Comedy Central show came back to the small screen earlier this year, and it included a whole bunch of jokes that felt like he had maybe not really kept up with the times in terms of what we joke about in polite society. That aside, many people thought it was quite funny, and, if nothing else, it was good to see the familiar face back in his element. His newest Netflix special drops on New Year’s Eve, with him also doing a Stranger Things cameo.
Al Franken has admitted to inappropriate behavior. The Minnesota senator, a Democrat, was called out by radio personality Leeann Tweeden, who told her story about how the former Saturday Night Live writer and actor touched and kissed her inappropriately while the two were part of a USO tour years back. He apologized, and many people have been calling for him to resign as a result. In defense of him, the governor of Ohio came out and dropped a very weird letter about his sexual history because, well, dudes are the worst.
Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred is not here for your nonsense. One of the biggest knocks about the sport recently has been pace of play, and as a result the bigs have instituted all sorts of rules to try to speed things up. Clocks between innings, cutting down on nonsense before and after pitches, it’s all been very helpful. But now, Manfred just doesn’t care. He plans to consider a pitch clock as well as opening up the strike zone, and he might just implement it whether the players want it or not. Alrighty then.
Coffee Break: I just want to give a shout-out to all my basics out there. You know who you are. Embrace it. I shop at the mall. I go to normal grocery stores. And when I’m on the road, I eat at pretty basic joints. Here’s a ranking of the top 25 restaurant chains in America, by sales.
Snack Time: If you have a problem with Lil Uzi Vert, that sucks for you. He might be weird, but his dance is awesome and his joints bang. Speaking of, here are four new songs of his.
Dessert: Look, do not have this at your family functions this holiday season. I will destroy the whole table.