There are people running around in football uniforms on my television, which leads me to believe that the NFL is apparently going to return soon. My favorite part about this coverage is hearing all the on-field music they have.
Football is dangerous. This isn’t news to most of us, but a recent report had some pretty damning numbers about the NFL and brain injuries that basically solidified the fact that chronic traumatic encephalopathy is just going to be a part of life in that league. Personally, I have no idea why this is so surprising to people. When you have a bunch of grown men bashing each other’s heads in at full speed, guess what? Dudes are going to be wildly concussed on a regular basis. You know who else knows that? Ravens O-lineman John Urschel. He retired Thursday at the age of 26.
Hillary Clinton is dropping a new book. It’s called What Happened, which might simultaneously be the best book title and tease I’ve ever seen in my life. This book could be about anything. Her college years! Her time as first lady of Arkansas! Her illustrious career as a senator and secretary of state! Her time in the White House! Her experience with parallel parking! Who knows! In all seriousness, if this book is about what everyone thinks it is, she’s going to make tons of cash off of it.
There was a time in my life when I liked Gilbert Arenas. But I don’t care how many buzzer-beaters he hit for my Washington Wizards, this dude is a super jerk. First, his foolish antics harassing Nick Young and his kids were just too foul for my taste, and now he’s still out here on Instagram, trying to somehow shame dark-skinned women. Who knows what Arenas’ problem is, but being a pretty dark-skinned brother himself, the self-hate is clearly very real.
Adrian Beltre is a surefire Hall of Famer. Mainly because of his on-the-field play, but he’s also No. 1 in my heart because of his attitude toward the game. In case you don’t know, he’s the guy who is not here for anyone touching his head, which is problematic when you hit so many homers. On Wednesday, however, he managed to get tossed from a game while in the on-deck circle, which is just plain awesome. MLB umpires are some of the biggest “look at me” officials in sports, and this was no different.
Coffee Break: There are some headlines that are terrifying in concept and some that are scary in practice. Then, there are others that make you go check to see if your doors are locked because the situation presented is so terrifying. “Police: One-armed, machete-wielding clown arrested” is definitely in the latter category.
Snack Time: It may not mean much to you, but 12ozProphet is back, which is tremendous news for anyone interested in the street art or graffiti scene.
Dessert: I’ve stated my love for Cardi B a million times. And her latest is another banger.