And we’re back!
Sorry about being missing in action with the intellectual hot takes last week, but both of us (Clinton and Tierra, if you didn’t know) were too in our feelings about the drama in Bachelor Universe to really enjoy the show. This week, on The Bachelorette at least, spirits were slightly higher and we’ve got a lot of fun stuff to discuss. But first, because we are smart people who have smart things to say about trash television, we must address the elephant in the room: Lee and Kenny.
Right off the bat, Lee, who is white, resumed his racially coded analysis of Kenny, who is black and who Lee has a real problem with, presumably because he is black. “You have an unrealistic violent aspect about you,” Lee tells Kenny, who decided to approach Lee calmly about Lee’s breach of their friendship and all-around stupidity. Whoooo, Jesus, let’s go. Five minutes in and we’re already stressed. And, spoiler alert, it doesn’t get any better with these two. By the end of the episode, the bloody, “violent” conflict the trailers have been teasing for the past week isn’t resolved — it hasn’t even begun, actually — and we have to wait until Tuesday night to figure out what actually happens on their two-on-one date with Rachel.
So, what’s the payoff for all of this going to be? What do we, Bachelor Nation, have to gain by watching this racially fueled feud between noted bigot Lee and devoted father and possible future Bachelor Kenny? It’s hard to be invested in the show as a whole when there’s this subplot that has the producers’ handprints all over it. The only thing keeping our attention this season is the potential of a huge payoff. There has to be a learning moment. Maybe Rachel will open her eyes to see Lee for what he really is () and she gives an impassioned speech about the many pitfalls black women encounter when they make themselves vulnerable to the realities of dating, and she calls out all the dudes who collectively are not worth it. Maybe. It’d be great to see such a conversation about race play out on national television.
But, who knows! Until that happens, there are other things we gotta talk about because, fam, this episode was wild. First up, this one-on-one with Jack Stone, who is entirely too weird and needed to go.
Jack looks like Joel Osteen, but perhaps more importantly, he acts like Joel Osteen.
Rachel escaped with her life but couldn’t quite escape his kiss attempt. It was such a wholesome one-on-one, but wholesome doesn’t cut it on this show. Jack went home after a forgettable date, and later on Tickle Monster (what’s that guy’s name again?) and Iggy “Wendy Williams” Rodriguez joined him. Good riddance.
After lackluster appearances all around from the guys, Bryan shines through like a beacon of hope, leaving me (Tierra) swooning on my couch and leaving my boyfriend, Juan, whom I have coerced into watching this episode with me, launching into a string of conspiracy theories about Bryan Bae, none of which I will believe.
Basically he thinks Bryan is fronting on — well, on all fronts. He doesn’t think Bryan is as suave and sexy in real life as he makes himself out to be on the show, and that Bryan is just taking this opportunity to reinvent himself. He’s probably just a huge bore in real life who knows his way around the romantic dictionary.
Personally, I think Juan is a hater, but there may be proof in the pudding:
But back to Lee and Kenny! The producers demand it! It’s clearly freezing during their two-on-one with Rachel, who is bundled to the nines, but Lee isn’t wearing a coat, or even a jacket. He has a hoodie on. This says more about him as a person than anything he’s ever said. Aren’t snakes cold-blooded? Rachel is intelligent, but she’s relying too much on house gossip to get to the bottom of the Lee-Kenny, he-said, he-said drama. Open your eyes, girl!
Unfortunately the show cut off right as it was getting good, but thank the Bachelor Universe gods that we have a two-night special. Who’s going home? It’s a toss-up at this point, which makes me concerned for Rachel’s decision-making skills (as an aside, she usually knows exactly what she wants, which is an aspirational trait). Hold on to your hats, fam.
Clinton Yates contributed to this report.