LOS ANGELES (AP) Karl-Anthony Towns and the Minnesota Timberwolves were challenged by the Los Angeles Clippers in the fourth quarter.
All right, y’all, I’ve got some programming updates. If you’re looking for a way to avoid your family Thursday and Friday, you can tune in to me hosting The Dan Le Batard Show on ESPN Radio. I promise it’ll be a fun time.
This week is a good one to check on elderly and disabled loved ones and folks who you know might have the blues
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) November 22, 2017
What, you thought we’d get to Turkey Day without an issue from the White House? Come on, now. You know better than that. Roy Moore, the man accused of molesting various girls over the course of his lifetime who is running for Senate in Alabama, is getting what we can only call support from President Donald Trump. It’s tough to frame it any other way because, in the name of partisan politics, Trump won’t denounce Moore’s actions, which is gross. Nonetheless, Moore’s camp is finding a way to raise money from POTUS’s actions, which is even more shocking.
Speaking of Trump, he’s now completely lost the psychological battle to LaVar Ball. He’s lobbing tweets his way and calling him ungrateful, which is code for uppity. And while the rest of the country feels like it’s burning down around us, the leader of the free world is in a war of words with a basketball dad. To make things even more bizarre, the president’s supporters seem to think that Ball is actually Levar Burton, of Reading Rainbow and Star Trek fame. What a world we live in.
And speaking of child molesters, we have another story from the sports world. Larry Nassar, the man who was once the doctor for USA Gymnastics, pleaded guilty to criminal sexual conduct in court, which brings an end to a chapter in American sports history that was downright shameful. The number of victims is listed as above 100, which is really scary when you think about it. Perhaps the name you’ll remember most from that list is Aly Raisman, who was a member of the Fierce Five who won gold in 2016. What a sad tale.
We’re about a month or so into the NBA season, which means injuries are starting to really hit. Sure, there were some big ones early, like the Celtics’ Gordon Hayward, but we’re at that point of the year where general dings start to add up and guys start to go down. For the Los Angeles Clippers, point guard Patrick Beverley is scheduled for knee surgery, which means the Clippers’ season is basically shot. And in Oakland, Kevin Durant is a little banged up with an ankle tweak, but he plans to play against his old team Oklahoma City on Wednesday night.
Coffee Break: Ray Allen is in a very awkward situation. Apparently he got catfished something crazy, and after trying to pay the guy (who he thought was actually various women) off, he’s now the one in court being accused of stalking. Life comes at you super fast, fam.
Snack Time: Since food is on all of our brains, check out this story about how one kid was constantly mocked by his classmates for bringing “stinky” food to the lunchroom. Then, his family fought back.
Dessert: Print this story out. Take it to your families at Thanksgiving. Read it aloud. Trust me.
Somebody forgot to tell the rest of the NBA that we’re supposed to be waiting for a fourth straight Golden State Warriors-Cleveland Cavaliers Finals.
In the West, the Memphis Grizzlies and Los Angeles Clippers are rocking rims and raising eyebrows. In the East, the Detroit Pistons and Orlando Magic are killing, while doormats are giving the Cavs’ new-and-not-improved roster the business. Yeah, we know the Dubs are laying in the cut after a draining preseason trip to China. We know, at some point, LeBron’s gonna LeBron. But a big chunk of the NBA is living by the words of this site’s favorite inspirational author and refusing to be defeated, despite the overwhelming talent and aura of these two historically dominant teams.
As we wait for the whole superteam concept to kick in this season, here’s what we’d like to pretend the NBA’s up-and-comers are tweeting at the Cavs (3-4 record, including four losses to non-playoff teams) and Golden State (5-3):
DETROIT PISTONS, 5-3, Second in Eastern Conference
You like dressing up for , @Warriors? We ain’t scared.
REAL TALK: First the Pistons came from behind to beat the undefeated Clippers in Los Angeles, then they knocked off the Warriors in Oakland, California. Stephen Curry rode into the arena dressed as Billy the Puppet from the Saw horror films — but the Dubs’ 26 turnovers were the real horror show. The Pistons lost to the young Lakers on Tuesday night, but they are still one of the Association’s biggest surprises.
ORLANDO MAGIC, 5-2, tied for Eastern Conference lead
REAL TALK: Orlando’s red-hot offense powered the Magic to a 21-point win over the LeBrons in Cleveland. Aaron Gordon is rising above mere dunks to become a legit Most Improved Player candidate. The Magic could actually make the playoffs for the first time since 2012, when Dwight Howard turned from Superman back into Clark Kent.
MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES, 5-2, first in the Western Conference
111-101 W vs @Warriors 🤔
98-90 W vs @HoustonRockets
103-89 W vs @HoustonRockets
REAL TALK: What vat of barbecue sauce did Memphis find Jarell Martin in? What about this other starter named James Ennis III? Where has Andrew Harrison been hiding since losing two NCAA titles at Kentucky? It doesn’t matter who plays for the Grizz as long as they have Mike Conley and Marc Gasol.
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS, 4-2, second in the Western Conference
REAL TALK: OK, they got blown out by the Warriors on Monday night in the Dubs’ bounce-back game from the Detroit debacle. But the Clippers are defying predictions of a collapse after the exit of
cancerous control freak All-Star point guard Chris Paul. The team belongs to Blake Griffin now. And not only is BG splashing game-winning 3s, he’s back to being THAT Blake Griffin.
There’s Uncle Drew. The remake of White Men Can’t Jump. And soon, possibly, a new sitcom. Everybody wants to be Hollywood-famous — even your favorite NBA players. Several are taking to the screen as front-facing talent with aspirations, in some cases, of being the next Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, a former athlete who became one of Hollywood’s biggest box-office draws. Others are looking to give iconic producers Jerry Bruckheimer and Will Packer a run for their silver screen money.
Either way, it’s happening. When they’re not on the court, some All-Stars are working on their postgame plan for Tinsel Town dominance. “Kobe put out a thing saying that he wants to be remembered as an investor, not a basketball player,” said television/film producer Kenya Barris. “So many athletes have these other things that they want to do, but a lot of times their physical stature, or what they’ve been doing their whole life, sort of takes the focus [off] what they’re going to be. But … they have other things they want to do. Here are some of the most impressive Hollywood moves soon coming from your faves.
The NBA champion has already made his mark as a TV producer. James’ well-written and highly regarded Survivor’s Remorse (recently canceled after four seasons) was very loosely inspired by his own NBA life. Most recently, he’s partnered with best-selling author, actor and activist Gabrielle Union (who is also his best friend’s wife) for an ABC development deal; on deck is a comedy, White Dave. James’ successful production company, SpringHill Entertainment, has been making some impressive moves lately, and this new show (should it be picked up) will be a single-camera sitcom from writer/director David E. Talbert (First Sunday, Almost Christmas, Baggage Claim). It’s based on Talbert’s experiences as an African-American teen raised in an all-white neighborhood who moves to a black neighborhood when his mother remarries. But that’s not all: James is empire-building. Other possible projects include an HBO show that he and longtime biz partner Maverick Carter are developing that is centered on an Los Angeles-based sneaker store. It’ll be a look inside the wild — and expensive! — world of sneakers, with Lemon Andersen also on board as a producer. Their company also has a three-part Showtime documentary coming at the top of next year that will take a look at the NBA’s influence on pop culture.
A remake of 1992’s beloved White Men Can’t Jump is on its way, with the help of Griffin and black-ish creator Barris. Also on board productionwise is Ryan Kalil of the Carolina Panthers. The two budding producers have a company called Mortal Media. But don’t be surprised if we see Griffin in front of the camera. “Blake is unbelievably funny,” said Barris. “He went to the Montreal Comedy Fest, and he was what everybody was talking about. … He did a stand-up routine every night and everybody from the industry was calling me like, ‘Have you heard Blake Griffin?!’ ”
When Kyrie Irving’s not making headlines for why he left the Cleveland Cavaliers to head to the Boston Celtics, fans are marveling at his hilarious alter ego Uncle Drew. If you’re unfamiliar, Uncle Drew is an “older” hooper who masquerades the fact that he can ball very well and dominates local pickup games — for Pepsi commercials. He’s a YouTube marvel, and soon he’ll be on the big screen. Next summer a full-length film will arrive, and besides Irving and co-star LilRel Howery (Get Out), several former NBA and WNBA stars will make appearances, including Shaquille O’Neal, Chris Webber, Nate Robinson, Reggie Miller and Lisa Leslie.
Might the 18-time All Star soon be adding Oscar nominee to his growing list of career accolades? Could be. He penned a poem, Dear Basketball, to announce the end of his storied career as a player, and now he’s turned the words into a brilliant animated short that he executive-produced and narrated. He worked on the film — it premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival in April and screened again at the Hollywood Bowl last month — with Disney animator Glen Keane and composer John Williams. And folks are already talking Oscar. Watch him perform it live with Williams here.
Just being unusually cruel at this point, the Kansas City Chiefs signed running back C.J. Spiller for the fourth time in eight months; Spiller has been cut by the team three times in the past month. San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, hitting his stride, called President Donald Trump a “soulless coward” and “pathological liar” and said the president is “unfit intellectually, emotionally and psychologically to hold this office.” Sacramento Kings rookie guard De’Aaron Fox, who is from New Orleans and has family in Houston, said he didn’t buy a Tesla to be environmentally friendly because “all I know is I’ll die before this earth is uninhabitable, so it isn’t about the environment.” Free-agent quarterback Colin Kaepernick is using Trump, who once essentially sued the NFL for collusion and was awarded a whopping $3, as evidence that league owners colluded to keep him unemployed. New York Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia yelled, “F— outta here” at Houston Astros batter Josh Reddick after Reddick was tagged out at first base.
The Carolina Panthers told quarterback Brad Kaaya … sigh … bye, Felisha. Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid, not trusting the process, called his early season minutes restriction “f—ing bulls—.” Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who once credited his 100-pound weight loss to “six weeks at a concentration camp,” said teams won’t hire Kaepernick for the “Same reason a hospital wouldn’t hire Typhoid Mary-when you kill off your customers U go out of biz!” Former Los Angeles Lakers guard Marcelo Huertas called NBA players “babies” who “everyone is afraid of dealing with”; the 34-year-old spent just two seasons with the Lakers, averaging a paltry 2.9 points per game on 40 percent shooting in 76 games. Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James said he would “foul the s— out of” his 13-year-old son if he played him in the NBA a decade from now. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony member Wish Bone warned former Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving that fans could “put hands on him” for disrespecting the city and his Uncle Charles, y’all. A Spurs fan, most likely a supporter of “the troops,” burned team gear in response to the comments made by Popovich, who served five years in the Air Force. Anna Horford, the outspoken sister of Boston Celtics forward Al Horford, called adult film star turned sports commentator Mia Khalifa a “dumb b—-” for the latter’s Civil War-inspired tweet about Celtics forward Gordon Hayward’s grotesque ankle injury.
After orchestrating a boneheaded move of the St. Louis Rams to Los Angeles, being photographed with women who were not his wife, reportedly impeding the contract negotiation of league commissioner Roger Goodell and personally involving Trump in the anthem controversy, owner Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys were awarded the 2018 NFL draft. The Cleveland Browns, shockingly one of two winless teams left in the league, announced another quarterback change just one week after announcing a quarterback change.
Fox News commentator Tomi Lahren wants to know what exactly NFL players are kneeling for during the national anthem. Former New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony, not specifying whether they were triangle-shaped tortilla chips or Doritos, said former Knicks president Phil Jackson was willing “to trade me for a bag of chips.” Goodell, missing the forest for the trees, said he wants to “make sure we are understanding what the players are talking about” when it comes to protests but wants to “put that at zero” in terms of the number of players kneeling. Minnesota Timberwolves coach Tom Thibodeau, astonishingly being handed the keys to the Ferrari again despite crashing the last one, said he will continue to play his young players heavy minutes because “you have to make sure that there’s no shortcut to the success. The work has to go into it. I believe in work.” Chicago Bulls forward Bobby Portis was suspended eight games for what the team considered a “fight,” despite one person walking out unscathed and the other, forward Nikola Mirotic, suffering “facial fractures and a concussion.” Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan, the next contestant on the Summer Jam screen, said Trump continuously attacks the NFL because he’s “trying to soil a league or a brand that he’s jealous of”; Khan, not getting off that easy, donated $1 million to Trump’s inauguration earlier this year.
Nothing is real anymore, as former first-round NBA draft pick Yi Jianlian never actually worked out against a chair 10 years ago. Hip-hop artist DMX, a fan of “Cocoa Puff sweet” women, apparently eats Booty O’s cereal, the derrière-inspired breakfast meal of WWE superstars The New Day. Los Angeles Clippers guard Patrick Beverley, after holding Los Angeles Lakers guard Lonzo Ball to just three points in his debut game, said he wanted to “welcome his little young a– to the NBA” and later called Ball a “weak a– m—–f—–.” LaVar Ball, Lonzo’s father, later asked, “Who is Patrick Beverley?” and said the sixth-year, All-Defensive first-team player “still don’t have your own shoe.” Lakers fan Snoop Dogg, formerly Snoop Lion, said Lonzo’s “daddy put him in the lion’s den with pork chop drawers on.” NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley, in midseason form, referred to French-born Knicks rookie Frank Ntilikina as “the brother from Africa” because he couldn’t pronounce his last name. Hours after being ejected from the Thursday Night Football game for yoking up a referee to protect his cousin-who-is-not-really-his-cousin, Kansas City Chiefs cornerback Marcus Peters, Oakland Raiders running back Marshawn Lynch rode a Bay Area Rapid Transit train throughout Oakland while Raiders fans, and Lynch, yelled, “F— the Chiefs” at Peters.
Trump, not letting this go, asked his supporters to show their “patriotism and support” by signing an online “Stand for the National Anthem” petition. The Washington Nationals, not likers of nice things, fired manager Dusty Baker despite a 192-132 record and two National League East titles the past two seasons. The NFL really, really, really wants to suspend Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott. Former NFL cornerback Brandon Browner has more arrests (two) in the past five months than games played (0) the past two seasons. Oklahoma City Thunder center Vagrant Jason Momoa Steven Adams, known to eat two to three dinner entrées in one sitting, called Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert a “tough pickle” before their teams’ game.
Just want to thank everyone who tuned in to Around The Horn on Wednesday. It was a long, fun trip to get there, for those of you who don’t know. Also, I filled in Thursday on The Dan Le Batard Show, if you want to check that out here.
— Around The Horn (@AroundtheHorn) September 7, 2017
Hurricane Irma is already doing major damage. In the Caribbean, the storm has basically destroyed Barbuda, and 13 people are already dead. This event has brought quite a bit of turmoil to the sports world already, with various games and things having been moved around because meteorologists are calling it basically the biggest storm of all time. In Miami-Dade County, Florida, alone, it appears that 400,000 people are at risk of getting hit by the winds and rain. That Miami Dolphins-Tampa Bay Buccaneers game might not be the only one delayed in the coming weeks.
New York City is an interesting beast. Having lived there when I was 18 years old, I didn’t love it. Before that, having visited and stayed for so many times with family, I had. But now, being an adult and it being a necessary part of life, I can deal with it. But the so-called charm of the city versus what it actually has to offer is always an interesting battle. That said, taxicabs are still the domain of reality when it comes to basically all walks of life. This interview with a New York cabbie who photographed his customers for decades is really a fun one to watch.
Gucci Mane’s come-up is officially complete. We all know the story. After landing himself in jail for his longest stint yet, he decided to make a turnaround. He relied on his girl Keyshia Ka’oir, a fitness-product maven, to help him revamp his life, and now it’s in the clear. According to Fader, Big Guwop has done so well on his probation that it is being terminated entirely in September. To be honest, I didn’t even know this was a thing. What a year it’s been for East Atlanta Santa.
The Los Angeles Clippers are going full Hollywood. That sounds odd, of course, because they’re already in Los Angeles. But when it comes to the bright lights and famous people, that’s usually the territory of the Los Angeles Lakers. But that doesn’t mean the Clips can’t make it happen when they need to. Instead of having the usual scorers table setup, they’ve broken that up to create something they call “star seating.” While in theory this looks like a decent idea, in practice I imagine it’ll be a logistical disaster on many levels.
Coffee Break: For all of the things that people had to say about the Seattle Seahawks’ Michael Bennett and everything that happened in Las Vegas recently with the police, there are still plenty of people who have to explain why they’re protesting, to make people happy.
Snack Time: A$AP Rocky never ceases to amaze me. His newest exploit is a signature luxury line of vape pens that even have the wood grain finish. For the distinguished smoker, presumably.
Dessert: Even though I am one of these people, reading this gives me anxiety.
After a couple of months of media hoopla that surrounded Beyoncé Knowles Carter’s interest in buying a stake in the Houston Rockets, the team will soon have a new owner, pending approval from the NBA board of governors.
The Rockets announced Tuesday that current owner Leslie Alexander agreed to sell the team to Tilman Firtitta, Houston billionaire and owner of Landry’s and Golden Nugget Casinos and Hotels, for $2.2 billion.
The announcement of the sale tops the ranks of NBA franchise ownership deals, a league source told ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, even better than the $2 billion Steve Ballmer paid for the Los Angeles Clippers in 2014.
Firtitta originally made an offer to purchase the Rockets in 1993 for $81 million but it was sold to Alexander for $85 million. Firtitta is no stranger to sports as he was also an original investor in the NFL’s Houston Texans. He said he has no plans to move the team.
Terms of the sale were not disclosed, but it includes the operation of the Toyota Center. Fertitta has no other partners in connection with the transaction.
“I am truly honored to have been chosen as the next owner of the Houston Rockets,” said Fertitta, a native of Galveston, Texas, and a lifelong resident of the Houston area. “This is a lifelong dream come true. Leslie Alexander has been one of the best owners in all of sports, and I thank him immensely for this opportunity. He has the heart of a champion. Lastly, out of respect for the NBA’s approval process, I can say no more other than I am overwhelmed with emotion to have this opportunity in my beloved city of Houston.”
Alexander said he’s excited to welcome and pass the torch to Fertitta.
“He is a Houstonian, business leader and committed to the success and excellence of the Rockets both on and off the basketball court,” said Alexander. “I have personally known Tilman for over 24 years and don’t think I could have found anyone more capable of continuing the winning tradition of our Houston Rockets.”
The sale process started back in July. Fertitta told KRIV-Fox 26 earlier this year that he was interested in buying the Rockets after Alexander announced that the franchise was for sale. In February, Forbes Magazine valued the Rockets franchise at $1.65 billion — good for eighth in the NBA — with revenues of $244 million.
If Fertitta’s purchase is approved by the NBA, his hotel and casino will not be able to offer betting on Rockets games, ESPN’s Darren Rovell reported.
The Rockets won the NBA title in the first two seasons after Alexander bought the team. In 24 seasons under Alexander’s ownership, the Rockets have won 56.9 percent of their games, fifth-best in the league.
New York Jets safety Jamal Adams, drafted to a team that went 5-11 last season, told an audience “if I had a perfect place to die, I would die on the field.” Teammate Morris Claiborne, not to be outdone, said he too would “die out there on that football field.” Green Bay Packers tight end Martellus Bennett, on the other hand, “ain’t dying for this s—.” The Baltimore Ravens signed another quarterback who is not Colin Kaepernick. Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, trying so hard to encourage star forward LeBron James stay with the team, was approved to build a jail complex in Detroit. President Donald Trump tweeted “No WH chaos.” Six hours later, recently hired White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci, who is not dead, lost his job. Multiple White House officials, or “the best people,” were tricked into responding to emails from a British prankster. Twelve inmates broke out of an Alabama prison using peanut butter. University of Central Florida kicker Donald De La Haye was ruled ineligible by the NCAA for making YouTube videos.
Guests at a New York City hotel won’t stop having sex up against their room windows; “Guys are together, girls and girls are together. They don’t even pull the shades down,” one resident said. A congressional staffer instructed a group of interns to not leak a meeting with White House adviser Jared Kushner; it was immediately leaked. Hall of Fame basketball player Michael Jordan said eccentric helicopter dad LaVar Ball couldn’t “beat me if I was one-legged.” Ball, keeping his name in the news, said Patriots All-Pro tight end Rob Gronkowski “can’t hang with me back in my heyday.” “Marijuana moms” is a cute new name for mothers who like to smoke weed; meanwhile, the government still wants to arrest certain people for marijuana use. NASA is hiring a person to protect Earth from aliens. Former Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis said Kaepernick, who hasn’t publicly spoken in months, should not talk openly about his social activism if he wants another job. Recently retired NBA player Kobe Bryant is getting thick. Two planes designated to be the new Air Force 1 were originally scheduled to be sold to a Russian airline. Scaramucci, the former White House communications director, known for hits like “I want to f—ing kill all the leakers,” invested almost half a million into an anti-bullying musical. Trump called the White House “a real dump.”
NBA Hall of Famer and BIG3 player-coach Allen Iverson, who has played in just half of his team’s games, averaging 9.1 minutes and two points per game, has been suspended one game by the league for missing a recent game. The Ravens are interested in another quarterback not named Kaepernick. Former second overall NBA draft pick Darko Milicic punched a horse in the face. The NFL released a video defining acceptable (simulating sleep) and unacceptable (twerking, pelvic thrusts) celebrations for the upcoming season. California Highway Patrol officers responded to reports of a kangaroo on an interstate highway; it was a raccoon. A 10-year-old boy named Frank, who admires Trump’s “business background,” offered to mow the lawn of the White House … for free.
Trump told Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto “I won New Hampshire because New Hampshire is a drug-infested den”; Trump lost New Hampshire. Dukes of Hazzard actor Tom Wopat was arrested for allegedly peeling the sunburned skin off the arm of a woman and putting his finger between the butt cheeks of another woman; in response to the allegations, Wopat responded “F— them all.” A third person was arrested in Kentucky for allegedly digging up the grave of one of the suspect’s grandmother in search of valuables; “He should have known better because he was there in the funeral and he knew she didn’t have much to start with,” a relative said.
In “boy, he about to do it” news, special counsel Robert Mueller impaneled a grand jury for his investigation into Russian interference in the last year’s presidential election. A New Jersey man, possibly an eggplant emoji kind of guy, was kicked out of a showing of The Emoji Movie for pleasuring himself in the back row of the theater. A London pub, aptly named the Cock Tavern, banned the use of profanity; a patron responded to the restriction: “That’s bulls—.” The Secret Service, charged with protecting Trump and his family, was evicted from Trump Tower in Manhattan. Gov. Jim Justice (D-West Virginia) will switch to the Republican Party; the state party’s Twitter account said Justice “would be the worst thing to happen to WV” before last year’s election and called him “low-energy” and “Sad!” an hour before news broke of the party change.
Former independent counsel Kenneth Starr, who unearthed the Monica Lewinsky affair while investigating former President Bill Clinton for something else, in response to the Russia investigation, said, “we don’t want investigators or prosecutors to go on a fishing expedition.” Former President Barack Obama was blamed by Attorney General Jeff Sessions for the “culture of leaking” currently ravaging the Trump administration. Los Angeles Clippers coach and president of basketball operations Doc Rivers, the architect of the Austin Rivers trade, was fired from and kept his job at the same time. Former welterweight champion Amir Khan, playing himself, accused his wife in a series of early morning tweets of cheating on him with heavyweight champion Anthony Joshua; Khan’s wife, Faryal Makhdoom Khan, responded by calling her husband a cheater, a 30-year-old baby, and accused him of sleeping with a prostitute in Dubai. Joshua responded to both set of tweets with a video snippet of Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” music video and a message that “I like my women BBW [Big Beautiful Women].”