Student-athlete and Olympian Micha Powell’s guide to thriving in college A weekly series from the sprinter on how she balances sports, school and life

Hey, all, Micha Powell here. Welcome to my video diary! I’m a recent University of Maryland graduate with a B.A. in broadcast journalism, three-time NCAA All-American and 2016 Canadian Olympian.

I have both my parents to thank for my athletic genes. My father is Mike Powell, UCLA alum and the long jump world-record holder, and my mother is the 400m hurdles Canadian record holder. I guess it’s kind of fitting that I’d end up a student-athlete in the States with roots in Canada.

If you’ve wondered what it takes to be a track and field student-athlete and compete at the international level, look no further. With this weekly video diary, you can follow my journey from training as a student-athlete at UMD to representing Canada at the World University Games in Taipei at the end of August. With my degree in broadcast journalism, I will use my reporting and editing skills to produce an in-depth look at the high-performance world of a 400m sprinter.


Week 1

I have never been afraid of a challenge. I switched sports my senior year in high school, going from hitting serves on green tennis courts to racing around a red rubberized track. I decided to embrace my parents’ Olympic genes and put them to good use in the 400 meters. After receiving a track and field scholarship to the University of Maryland, I then moved away from my family in Canada in pursuit of a higher education and with the hopes of leaving behind a legacy.

Looking back on my four years in college, I had to adapt to many changes, including attending two-hour classes right after running up hills at 5 in the morning, all the while maintaining a balanced social life and remembering to take a deep breath once in a while. The adjustment from living with my mom in a quiet apartment to moving in with five other college roommates was drastic, but I was able to embrace my new surroundings by developing these three key habits:

Time management

I enrolled in the Philip Merrill College of Journalism at the University of Maryland knowing that I was going to have to learn to work on deadline and take most of my assignments on the road with me when I traveled to track meets. The fast-paced nature of the program forced me to plan ahead and communicate with my professors. If I had a track meet that coming weekend, I knew I had to finish an assignment by Thursday to avoid any additional stress. I also made sure to add some downtime with my friends and go to D.C. for some sightseeing or just stay in and watch some of our favorite Netflix shows.

Sleep takes priority

I aim to get anywhere between seven and nine hours of sleep every night. If I can be in bed before midnight, I know that I’ll wake up the next morning motivated, rejuvenated and less stressed. However, I’m not perfect. During finals week, I had my fair share of “almost” all-nighters that left my mind drained. The best way for me to get a consistent amount of sleep is to keep a routine. As long as I continue to practice self-discipline, I’ll keep a healthy sleep habit that accelerates my muscle recovery and improves my mental health.

Nutrition & home cooking

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Nutrition is an essential part of my preparation not only for executing a great race but also for my overall well-being. Whenever someone asks me if I follow a strict diet, I explain that I don’t have to but I naturally gravitate toward leafy greens and lean proteins because it is simply what my body craves. I see eating healthy as the most beneficial way to reward my body for all of the hard work it does in one day. By eating fruits, vegetables, complex carbohydrates and protein, I train my body to expect nutrient-rich foods after a hard workout, which encourages it to recover at a faster rate and readies it to go through the entire cycle again.

Before practice and post-workouts, you can be sure to find me in my kitchen cooking up everything from spinach and turkey bacon-filled omelets to curried tilapia with steamed zucchini spirals. I always make sure my fridge is filled with whole foods and my spice cabinet stocked with seasoning. I’m known on my track team to always have a different meal on my Snapchat and often get messages that read “Pleassee send me the recipe!” or “You should write a cookbook!” Maybe I’ll consider it now that I’ve graduated and have a little bit more free time on my hands. Cooking is not a chore for me but rather a habit that guarantees my body will get enough nutrients for the week, and it also brings familiarity and the comfort of home back into my life.

My grandmother is originally from Nigeria, and I remember growing up in her house, back in Montreal, smelling the peppery air and immediately recognizing the thyme and cayenne fragrance that was brewing in one of her traditional and tasty Nigerian dishes. Although I can’t make as good an okra soup as my grandmother does, I consider myself fortunate enough to have inherited her cooking skills, which have helped me prepare the majority of my meals that fuel me for the day.

Are films like ‘Step’ inspiring or are they inner-city uplift porn? Maybe they’re both

After seeing Step, the new documentary about a step team at a girls charter school in Baltimore, two things happened:

  1. When I walked out of the darkened theater and into the light of day with the other people at the screening, everyone’s eyes were wet, including my own.
  2. I immediately wondered if what I’d seen was well-crafted inner-city uplift porn.

Step, the first feature-length documentary from director Amanda Lipitz, a Broadway producer whose credits include Legally Blonde the Musical, follows the journey of the step team at the Baltimore Leadership School for Young Women (BLSYW, pronounced “bliss”). Most of the girls in the film are seniors, and this is their last chance to win a competition in the midst of typical senior-year concerns, in particular, getting into college.

Their lives are set against a backdrop of hardship: poverty, hunger, the threat of police violence, and parents who aren’t or can’t be as involved as would be ideal. But thanks to their determination and hard work, and constant prodding from coach Gari McIntyre (known in the film as Coach G) and college counselor Paula Dofat, the girls not only persist, they all are accepted into college.

It reminded me of a scene from Primary Colors, the 1998 film based on Joe Klein’s roman à clef about the first Clinton presidential campaign.

In the scene, Gov. Jack Stanton (John Travolta) tells his wife, Susan (Emma Thompson), about an adult literacy program that he encountered on the campaign trail. The program’s home is in the library of a rundown, graffiti-covered, underfunded school in New York.

“Honey, this was so great today, this reading program,” the governor says. “You shoulda seen the people. And the teacher — well. She was just inspirational.”

“Give me a break,” Susan responds. “Tell me how good the curriculum was, not the teacher. We can replicate a good curriculum.”

The scene gets at the crux of the issue with films, both narrative and documentary, such as Step, Dope, Dangerous Minds, All the Difference, and Check It. Such stories rely on individuals, in this case, McIntyre, Dofat and the step team members, to get an audience to pay attention to issues that are far bigger in scope. In the scene from Primary Colors, failing public schools and social promotion created the need for such a literacy program in the first place. In Step, there are larger issues that created the problems the BLSYW girls face, among them housing discrimination, the racial wealth gap, the resegregation of public schools, and unjust allocation of public resources.

So what purpose does a film like Step serve? Lipitz, a graduate of the Park School of Baltimore, where yearly tuition can run as high as $29,620, was inspired by the success of a similar girls leadership school in Queens, New York, with a 100 percent graduation rate. Her mother founded BLSYW on Lipitz’s suggestion and chairs its board.

I asked Lipitz if she worried that the success McIntyre and Dofat were able to achieve would lull audiences into a false sense of security. It’s easy to believe that these women have found a way to solve these larger problems so that the rest of us don’t need to focus on them quite so much.

“I didn’t worry about that,” Lipitz said. “ ‘Cause I think they’re so inspiring that you’re like, ‘I want to go do what Coach G does.’ I feel like they inspire you to get up and move and do something about it. Mentor someone, take interest in someone. I think they inspire people to do that.”

She’s not wrong. There’s tremendous value in films that aim to uplift. That’s what made the Stantons such an effective team: Theirs was a marriage of both pragmatism and inspiration. But it’s a challenge to find films that accomplish both, and frankly, films that skew more toward policy usually end up on public television, not the big screen. Because it’s so hard to make compelling films about policy — Ava DuVernay’s 13th is a notable exception — we end up with a glut of films that are high on uplift and short on the nitty-gritty.

Step doesn’t ignore these larger social issues — McIntyre mentions that she lives on the same street where Freddie Gray was killed. But there’s an underlying message that personal responsibility, hard work, and school personnel so dedicated they qualify for beatification are enough to circumvent the consequences of being born poor, black, and female in a country that’s systematically hostile to people who are poor, black, and female.

In Jack Stanton’s story, it’s the inspiring teacher who’s the savior. Susan Stanton gets at something more practical and less sexy: You can’t scale an inspirational teacher. You need a curriculum. Step illustrates just how important women such as Dofat and McIntyre are, but they’re not enough. We have to fix the problems that make them so invaluable.

Working as an educator in public schools is not easy. Dofat, 50, has been working as a college counselor for 17 years. There’s an emotional scene in Step where she tearfully pleads with two college administrators to take one of her students. She’s afraid that if they don’t, the girl’s life will essentially be ruined. I asked Dofat what kept her from burning out.

“Faith,” she answered. But she also told me about the need to separate guidance counseling from college counseling to achieve more effective results. Public schools that serve poor, majority-minority populations need enough resources to hire some counselors who focus solely on social and emotional issues, and others who focus on getting kids into college, Dofat said. Most schools employ counselors who are responsible for all of it, and therefore are often overwhelmed.

Changes like those Dofat recommends could have huge implications in steering students away from the for-profit certificate and diploma mills that disproportionately target students who are poor, female, and ethnic minorities, saddling them with worthless degrees and debt they often cannot repay.

But wonkier points like that get obscured by Step’s feel-good inspiration. The film recently won the audience award at AFI Docs Film Festival and got a loving reception at Sundance earlier this year. Ultimately, public education should be the responsibility of everyone in a community. It is a public good that only works well when affluent white parents are not scared to send their children to school with poor black children and when they recognize that everyone deserves the same chances and the same resources.

McIntyre began working as a step coach and logistics coordinator at BLSYW in 2015. She went to Milford Mill Academy, part of Baltimore County Public Schools, and eventually graduated from Coppin State after initially dropping out. She’s no stranger to the hardships many of the BLSYW girls face.

“I did have a very rough time with completing high school, because I was more focused on social and creative outlets,” McIntyre said. “I graduated with a 1.8 GPA. I barely went to school, because I felt like the teachers were not challenging me, and I didn’t need to go to school. I would go to school and get A’s on tests and quizzes, but I would never prepare for anything. So, I had the ability, I had to think and had to focus, and I really felt that the teachers were not challenging me or catering to me in the way that I felt that I needed to learn.”

But even more teachers who cared wouldn’t have been enough, she said.

“There are problems that are on a way bigger scale, based off of the way our country votes,” McIntyre said. “Decisions that are based in racial and gender bias, housing discrimination, and there being actual laws that are legally segregating communities, and determining who gets resources and who doesn’t, and that’s not by mistake.

“I think that it’s clear what type of people they want to be successful. It shows grit when a little black girl like Cori [Grainger, a BLSYW senior], who never even thought that she would be Johns Hopkins material, not only makes it in Johns Hopkins, but then graduates and does well. … I think that specifically [when others look at] African-American communities, people truly believe that we want to be impoverished and in violence. Poverty is not what you see in Third World countries in the United States. The poverty is sometimes not knowing where your next meal is going to come from, or being on government assistance, or being a victim to the failed mental health system, or health care system in the United States. … So, I do think that these are way bigger issues, that people are seeing on a smaller level.”

Step is the story of young girls who are beating the odds. After seeing it, I hope audiences remember these girls never should have had to face such odds in the first place.

Idris Elba talks ‘The Dark Tower,’ Mayweather vs. McGregor, Usain Bolt — and Pelé Even with a resume that includes ‘The Wire’ and playing Beyoncé‘s husband, an underdog mentality keeps him motivated

It’s media day for Idris Elba: 48 hours before the release of his newest film, an adaptation of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower. Elba takes on the role of Roland Deschain (The Gunslinger) as he battles Matthew McConaughey as Walter O’Dim (The Man In Black) for the safety of the universe. Elba is genuinely excited, but admitted he knew very little about King’s eight-part, 4,250-page magnum opus when he first read the script. In fact, he hadn’t read a single page.

“It hadn’t piqued my interest,” he said. “But as soon as I got invited to the script, I was intrigued. I looked at all the iconography, thinking, ‘That ain’t me!’ ” He lets out a laugh from the pit of his stomach. “I’m reading the script like I’m the Man In Black, right? No, no, no. You’re The Gunslinger.”

Besides his title role in the BBC’s acclaimed series, Luther, for which he won a Golden Globe after being nominated five times for a variety of roles, Elba’s appeared in Prometheus, Finding Dory (2016), Beasts of No Nation (2015), Pacific Rim (2013), Thor (2011), and Takers (2010). He had a recurring role on the landmark series The Office, and starred with Beyoncé in 2009’s Obsessed. There were also many rumors about him becoming the next James Bond — Elba’s no stranger to diversity in his character portfolio.

But for many, the 45-year-old London-born superstar’s most lauded role will forever remain the shrewd, vindictive drug capo Stringer Bell in HBO’s Baltimore gospel The Wire.

He says that he works best when he feels a bit of an underdog.

“I grew up in a time where the complexion I have was not favored,” said Elba. “Lighter-skinned actors were favored in these roles. I’m used to being the underdog.” Could King’s character look like Elba? A black guy? The doubt was motivation for Elba. “I don’t really listen to it,” he said. “I’ll always go for the guy who has to work harder to get there. That’s pretty much been my journey.” (King has sung the praises of Elba’s work as The Gunslinger. He sees it as nothing short of incredible.)

In an ideal world for Elba, The Dark Tower is the beginning of what becomes a series — like The Lord of the Rings. There’s so much of King’s opus to be told that can’t be whittled down to a two-hour movie. But he’s also excited to talk about Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor’s upcoming fight, his fave athletes, and how certain streaming apps please the music nerd in him.

Favorite athlete of all time.

My favorite athlete was/is Pelé.

Exceptional choice. But why Pelé?

Phenomenal footballer. One of the greatest that’s ever did it.

“I’m a competitive person. I love to fight. I have a pain threshold.”

Favorite current athlete?

Usain Bolt, at this point.

I know you’re a big music fan. Are you #TeamTidal, #TeamSpotify or #TeamAppleMusic?

I use Tidal and Apple Music. I think they’re both great. I find Tidal interesting in terms of the accessibility to the footnotes and album credits. That’s something I like. I’m bit of a nerd. I like to see who wrote stuff and produced it. I find Tidal a lot more accessible in that sense. I think Apple Music is a great service all around. It works almost everywhere in the world. I like that.

To train for The Dark Tower, you trained in both boxing and mixed martial arts.

The best I’ve been in physical and mental health, the time my body works the best, is when I train. I’m a competitive person. I love to fight. I have a pain threshold. I consider myself alive as long as I’m able to go somewhere and hit a bag.

“I grew up in a time where the complexion I have was not favored.”

How do you think Mayweather-McGregor will play out later this month?

Floyd Mayweather has a challenge on his hands. He’s fighting someone at the peak of his career who’s a very agile mixed martial artist. I believe that there is a real chance of McGregor not penetrating the impenetrable Floyd Mayweather as a boxer. But penetrating his composure as a fighter.

So you’re giving McGregor a legit shot?

Listen, Floyd Mayweather’s camp is like, ‘Yo, man. How you gon’ say that?’ (Laughs.) But I never said he was gonna get beat. But there’s a chance that McGregor can lay one on him. And if he does that, he’s such a fast striker that he will continue to do it. Conor McGregor has nothing to lose. Floyd Mayweather has an impeccable 49-0 career to lose. So Conor McGregor’s coming in to fight and Floyd is gonna have to box because that’s what he knows. When you’re a mixed martial artist, you have certain agility that does a couple of things. One, boxers move slightly different when you’re being struck. And two, it gets annoying. Your composure goes in a different way because of the way kickboxers move. Now he’s not allowed to kick. He’s gonna have to box, but it’s about the agility. It’s about the striking, about how quickly they strike and the tempos. There are all sorts of things that I think Floyd needs to be very, very careful of. That’s just my opinion.

LeBron James wants to beat up Kyrie Irving and other news of the week The Week That Was July 24 – 28

Monday 07.24.17

President Donald Trump, when asked about his thoughts on health care reform, told a female reporter to be “quiet.” President Ron Burgundy Trump later read from a teleprompter that the Affordable Care Act has wreaked havoc over “the last 17 years.” The internet was still upset that Olympic gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps wasn’t eaten by a shark. Former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, who once said slain 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was killed because he dressed like a “gangsta,” said 36-year-old Jared Kushner “looks like a high school senior.” In Georgia news, a small airplane modeled to look like a Nazi Germany aircraft, complete with a swastika on the tail, landed on a state highway; the plane’s pilot said the Nazi design was “just for fun.” 2 Fast 2 Furious director John Singleton, not known for bad decisions, said there’s nothing wrong with singer R. Kelly keeping a sex cult because the occupants are “adult women.” Boston Red Sox pitcher David Price cursed out an old man last month because the 62-year-old, Hall of Fame pitcher Dennis Eckersley, said, “Yuck.” If Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James were to come face-to-face with teammate Kyrie Irving, he’d reportedly be tempted to “beat his ass.”

Tuesday 07.25.17

James booed the report. The environment is in such trouble that even holy water has been shut off by the Vatican. A New York City barber who posted on social media that “N—-s taking shots can’t stop me” was fatally shot in the head. Former House Speaker John Boehner, who once held a meaningless vote to repeal the Affordable Care Act just so freshman lawmakers could vote on it, said Republicans will never replace the health care law. Tech CEOs Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are currently beefing over whether or not robots will eventually kill humans. Energy Secretary Rick Perry was tricked into talking about “pig manure as a power source” with a Russian (of course) man posing as Ukrainian Prime Minister Volodymyr Groysman. Twin sisters from Australia, who’ve spent over $200,000 on plastic surgery to look more alike, want to get pregnant by their shared boyfriend at the same time. Chicago officials are trying to control their rat problem by making the rodents infertile. Former Dallas Cowboys receiver Lucky Whitehead was cut from the team a day before police realized they had the “wrong guy.” Former Denver Broncos coach Gary Kubiak, who once almost died on the job, is returning to the Broncos. Former NFL quarterback Michael Vick got a job before Colin Kaepernick. A Michigan man suing Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green for allegedly hitting him in the face last summer said, “I still feel his hand on my jaw.” A retired NFL player is suing Attorney General Jeff Sessions over weed.

Wednesday 07.26.17

The Defense Department, responsible for national security and the military, was caught off guard by a Trump tweet invoking national security and the military. Meanwhile, the U.S. armed forces spend at least 10 times as much on erectile dysfunction pills as they do on gender-transition-related medical treatment. A Michigan man was sentenced to two years of probation for wrapping a cat in duct tape; a person at the man’s home said the tape was used to stop the cat from itching. A self-described journalist and comedian created a list of places where Ohio residents and Cavs fans could burn the jersey of Irving. Arthur Lambright, the former boyfriend of the mother of LeBron James and best known as “Da Real Lambo,” has sided with Irving in the two teammates’ dispute. Green Bay Packers tight end Martellus Bennett, realizing he’s the “only black person in this scary movie,” was worried about ghosts while sleeping in front of his locker room. Future emergency room admittees are now playing “soap hockey.” Atlanta Falcons receiver Julio Jones, putting his $71.25 million contract to good use, paid a dive team to retrieve a $100,000 earring he lost while Jet Skiing. NCAA investigators were shocked to learn that black men get their hair cut more than once a month.

Thursday 07.27.17

Sessions, the president’s proverbial punching bag the past week, said Trump’s criticism is “kind of hurtful.” A New Jersey man was arrested after being accused of not paying nearly $88,000 in tolls. The Washington Nationals hit the most home runs in one inning in MLB history, but all attention was paid to a pigeon that made its way on the field. LaVar Ball is telling women to stay in their lanes again. A market research study found that 26 percent of NFL fans who watched less football last season did so because of national anthem protests; that percentage, though, represented roughly 287 people. Kid Rock finally stopped lying about running for U.S. Senate. Instead of signing Kaepernick, who’s been to the Super Bowl, the Baltimore Ravens signed arena league quarterback David Olson. Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith received $2 million just for showing up to work. White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci, who earlier in the day accused chief of staff Reince Priebus of feloniously “leaking” the Mooch’s financial disclosure form, called Priebus a “a f—ing paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac” and alleged that chief strategist Steve Bannon engages in autofellatio. Houston Rockets guard and 2017 MVP runner-up James Harden reportedly had his jersey retired at a Houston strip club.

Friday 07.28.17

Republican lawmakers failed (again) to repeal and/or replace the Affordable Care Act. A New York City couple jumped to their deaths because “both have medical issues, we just can’t afford the health care.” The hosts of Fox & Friends, critical of “Obamacare,” unwittingly discovered the core definition of health insurance, stating that “the healthy people are paying for the sick people.” Some guy has already announced his plans to run for president in 2020. Trump, an avid Liam Neeson fan, told undocumented immigrants, “We will find you. We will arrest you. We will jail you, and we will deport you.” The NFL, purportedly serious about brain research, meddled its way out of paying $16 million to the National Institutes of Health. The Tennessee Titans released guard Sebastian Tretola five days after he was shot.

Black love: Sensitive thugs need hugs After home visits, Eric opens up on ‘The Bachelorette’

They say you never forget your first love.

For fans of the Bachelor franchise, we’ll never forget when Eric decided to declare his feelings to Rachel in the Spanish countryside. We certainly won’t misremember when Peter said to her that to him engagement is the same as marriage. And the look on Bryan’s face when Rachel’s sister Constance asked her how it’s possible that they fell in love so quickly is burned into our brains.

But Monday night, after meeting The Bachelorette’s mother, pregnant sister, sister’s husband and a couple of other members of her Dallas-based family, we all learned something about ourselves. To be clear, I am not listing these in the order of appearance, so deal with it.

It should be noted the format was switched up a tad bit for this, so all three guys were in town while the others visited the house as well. This created a bit of a rapid-fire effect, which certainly took its toll on the family. Normally, there would have just been two. For the purposes of brevity, I’m going to combine both the parent experiences and vacation experiences of each.

I’ll also say at this point that if this were me, I would have bailed after meeting these people. Nothing personal, necessarily, but a) not being able to meet her father because he’s a federal judge, b) they are clearly mega-rich and c) they have a chessboard and a telescope in the same room. Three strikes.

Let’s get to the action.

Peter

If nothing else, this man is honest. He told Rachel last week that he wasn’t necessarily going to propose even if he won, a shocking dose of reality from a guy who had the nerve to trot out two black friends in Wisconsin to tout his bona fides on “tolerance,” as if this were the 1960s.

The picture above is of him talking to Rachel’s mother, exposing the look he had on his face almost the entire episode. It was somewhere between “I didn’t actually think this whole ‘marrying a famous black woman’ thing through” and “my God, her family is richer than mine, this is awkward.” If for no other reason than it clearly made him more comfortable, the fact that Rachel’s sister Constance’s husband is white was certainly a calming influence on the family dynamic.

His run of incredibly lucky date opportunities continued, with the two of them this time going shopping for baby clothes for Constance, obviously a win-win situation all around. He gets to talk about how much he loves kids without any actually being present and, on the back end, show up with something for the family that someone actually needs, instead of just a smile and some weak lines about being ready for the next step.

The strangest juncture came when he and Rachel finally sat down to discuss their partnership and Peter basically was unwilling to compromise his previously established values for the sake of a television program. Which leads to the obvious question of: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANYWAY? … but we’ll get to that later. He contends that he doesn’t want to waste an engagement on a marriage, which is apparently a thing that dudes do.

We’re also guessing he doesn’t like the fact that she’s seen Rachel buy Bryan a Breitling and, in general, still just isn’t really all that comfortable with the fact that he hasn’t won this already. It’s one thing to be against a whole group of guys. It’s quite another when you’ve all got relationships with each other and one of you might not end up getting the proverbial prize, here.

Yayaya Peter’s so sexy and fun. He’s been treating this whole thing like it’s a forced arranged marriage, and his hair is my favorite part about him on this show.

Bryan

This was a disaster right out of the gate. His pre-family meet date was a weak sauce brunch with two of Rachel’s friends, who looked and acted exactly like the type of people you’d meet at your new girlfriend’s brunch who have one too many questions about who you are for polite company. They were talking about the guy like he wasn’t even there, and the whole thing appeared rather unproductive, even for Bachelorette standards.

Things really got moving when they got to the house. Bryan’s No. 1 mistake was looking sloppy. His shirt was a little too big to be untucked and a little too casual to also be unbuttoned, giving him a look simply not befitting of a 37-year-old man whose mom is a little too attached to him. Oh, wait.

Anyway, no one in the family liked him from the beginning, and it showed. Just at lunch, he was fielding questions from all sides and at one point had to leave the table because he was under so much pressure. At which point, Rachel jumped in to point out exactly how much she didn’t appreciate this from them.

It’s worth noting that some of us have thought Bryan was a fraud from the jump. Not that he was necessarily trying to play Rachel, but this was all effectively a game for him, to up his popularity back in Miami, where he’s just another old dude in the club. Of course, that vibe plays well on TV with a bunch of other guys from the Midwest, but in the 305, he’s nothing special. He needs this to keep his playboy vibe relevant, because that “good with my hands” line is getting old.

That said, Rachel’s family made it incredibly awkward. It might be their job to protect their girl, but she’s also a grown-up who knows her way around the world. The whole thing felt gratuitous. In chronological order, Bryan was the last to visit, which made it feel like they were just ready to have these people out of their house.

No one particularly impressed, but we did get a plethora of Constance memes and GIFs, so be ready to deploy those from here till kingdom come.

This is the point where I point out that I think the word “love” should be banned from this show altogether. It would solve so many problems and force people to genuinely appreciate each other without these over-the-top declarations that add unnecessary pressure to something that is ultimately fake. I have thought this for years, and will staunchly defend that stance. Except …

Eric

Look, no one thought this dude would make it this far. He was the first person to nearly fall into Lee’s racist trap, but he made it out of that and outlasted quite a few other guys who might have had him beat on personality and emotion. And, to be even more frank, I’ve really only been talking about these other dudes for the sake of posterity, because this episode was all about Eric. Let me explain.

When this whole thing got serious, nobody counted him in. He barely made the cut to hometowns when he was part of the group date — but next thing we know, here he is, after having a legit parent reconciliation on national television. That’s important, because let’s not forget what happened to Dean, who ambushed his dad with an emotional roller coaster to the point that he ended up getting booted off the show. It was too much.

But Eric was thoughtful and patient about explaining his circumstance. His parents were separated. Love wasn’t really part of the picture. Never mind his personal circumstance of being a product of Baltimore, where the street life was a very real draw and threat at the same time. In short, he was very honest about his emotional availability. It was next to none. He’d never told a girl he loved her. The last time he’d met a woman’s family was in college at Thanksgiving, and the time before that was prom. He was at a clear disadvantage walking into that house.

Let me explain this in no uncertain terms as someone who’s been there. Eric is about as in touch as anyone I’ve ever seen in terms of being self-aware about his own insecurities regarding his family life and what he wants to get to. I’m genuinely superimpressed by his communication. It’s SO easy to psych yourself out when you see a healthy unit and sabotage yourself for the purposes of not wanting to upset someone else’s seemingly perfect situation.

“I’m nervous because going into this, I’m always confident, especially with you,” Eric says while they sip champagne atop some tower restaurant overlooking Dallas. “But it’s your family, and it’s one of those things, it’s like, I’ve never been in this process at this point. Like, about to get engaged with someone. Like, meeting someone’s family for the first time.”

At this point, Rachel seems a bit bored, if not annoyed. It feels like he’s trying to find a way to screw this up, and she ain’t got time for that. But at this point, we start to notice something in Eric we haven’t seen before. His voice is a little softer and more playful. He smiles more. He’s actually not afraid to express a little joy here and there without qualifying it. Dude is very anxious but doesn’t just have to resort to primal screams to make up for it.

When they get there, he doles out a couple of church handshakes and gets right down to business. They were openly hating since they loved Peter so much, which didn’t help his cause. Eric opened up about his lack of structured family life and says, “I’d never seen my mom and dad together.” From there, he sort of runs through it as the soft piano plays, but that sentence is important, and I say that from personal experience.

If you’ve got a parent who’s dead, or lives overseas, or is in jail, that’s one experience. But if you’ve got two able-bodied people who simply do not want to be in each other’s company and happen to be your parents, it’s a situation that affects you a little differently. For example, I have exactly one picture of me, my mother and my father in the same place at the same time. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand exactly what Eric was going through in this moment, sitting in this house with a squad of people who’ve all done well to establish themselves together.

“I’m listening to Eric talk as we meet him,” Constance says. “I’m watching Eric’s reaction, I’m watching Rachel, comparing it to what she had with Peter, and I’m thinking, I don’t know if they’re on the same playing field as far as, you know, relationshipwise.”

Of course they aren’t. But that’s the whole point. Eric is really and truly trying to better his situation from an emotional health and life prospects standpoint. He doesn’t have random reservations about getting down on a knee more than once in his life. Nor is his mom going to crash-land his relationship and ruin anything.

Constance gave him the third degree, and he was honest with her about never having been in love. He notes that he’s grown to this point, which is about as honest a thing as you’ll hear on a show like this, ever. Rachel’s cousin likes Eric better than Peter. “He’s not a fairy-tale person. He’s very real,” she said.

“I love her in a way, unconditionally. I’m not in love with her, but for me, when I say those words and I give that, it means a lot to me. The way I look at it, I’m here for you no matter what,” Eric says. “I just want her to know that I can be the man I know I am.”

This is the point where I stood up on my couch in my Whaboom tank top and started applauding. Personal connection aside, I’m completely in the tank for this dude in life, never mind the show. He’s the only black man left. He’s showed his actual self on camera, and perhaps most importantly, as a result he genuinely has become a cooler dude as the show has gone on. You can’t make this stuff up. Sure, edits help. But take it from me: It’s not easy to fake it when you don’t know what it looks like to begin with.

Honestly, the rest of this episode was a bit of a blur. There’s only so long I can listen to a man try to explain his way through the cobwebs of his heart on TV before I just start crying and thinking about all the mistakes and missteps I’ve made in life as a result of fear, hubris or some dumb combination of both.

No roses were given out at the end of the episode, which featured a “to be continued …,” but the story of the day for me was Eric. When he smiled after telling Rachel he loved her, you could just feel all that weight come off his chest — not because he’d been holding it in, but because he’d been wanting to feel it.

No matter what happens in the rest of this season, we got to witness a real breakthrough for a person on television this week. Good for him, and good for anyone who respects how hard it is sometimes to show the world who you really are, because you barely know how to show yourself that person either.

Tierra R. Wilkins contributed to this report.

Daily Dose: 7/25/17 Cavs owner Dan Gilbert apologizes to the city of Detroit

Some of y’all are still arguing over what happened with Lawrence on Insecure, but let’s not overlook the tremendous sweatshirt that Issa Rae was wearing at one point. If you want to know where to find it, it’s here.

You might know Dan Gilbert as the owner of the NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers. But he’s also a big landowner in Detroit. And by landowner, I mean part of one of the bigger real estate undertakings in the Motor City. His company, Bedrock, posted the above ad for an office building downtown. Clearly, this is nowhere close to representative of what that city looks like, so the words of that slogan are doubly insulting. Well, Gilbert apologized. And it wasn’t just a my bad, it was actually pretty lengthy and detailed, so good for him, I guess.

Life can be a hassle. Staying organized, between identification, money and keys, is not exactly the easiest task. So what better way to handle one of those tasks than letting your employer embed a microchip in your hand, right? All you’ve got to do is swipe your claws around the office to get into the building, or to buy lunch! So, convenient, no? If my bank could do this so I didn’t have to carry money around, I’d consider it. But, for the most part, having the job to track your every movement is suboptimal for basically everyone on earth.

If you ever doubted that John McCain was an American hero, you can put that to rest. The Arizona senator — who was captured in Vietnam and held as a prisoner of war before going on to an illustrious political career, including a run for president — was diagnosed with brain cancer last week. But he’s coming back to the Senate on Tuesday because his nation needs him on the latest Republican health care bill. This isn’t just a matter of optics and symbolism — his vote is critical. He could be the difference in whether America takes care of itself.

Robert Griffin III has one more chance in the NFL. After he was run into the ground in Washington, thus torpedoing his career for one playoff win, he was forced to sit an entire season. Then he split with his wife, and before the divorce papers were dry he was having another baby with an Estonian heptathlete. Oh, and wearing suits on the beach. Now, the Los Angeles Chargers are going to bring him in for a workout. The issue wasn’t the talent most recently. It was the ability to stay on the field.

Free Food

Coffee Break: When I first heard “Shimmy Shimmy Ya” in a Samuel Adams ad, I wasn’t disappointed. Such is the life cycle of popular and transcendent music genres. Now, the RZA is teaming up with Chipotle to bring you original beats. You can make your own, too!

Snack Time: If you’ve ever wondered why Anthony Scaramucci was brought back to the White House after being rebuffed for a job the first time around? Well, he had to complete his “How to Act Like Donald Trump” training.

Dessert: When Curren$y drops new mixtapes, I keep you informed. Behold, The Champagne Files.

NAACP searches for relevance in era defined by Black Lives Matter and Trump Group looks for new leadership while continuing to play the inside game

BALTIMORE — The NAACP calls itself the “oldest and boldest” civil rights organization in the country. The first part of that description is not in dispute. But in an era when activists quickly organize and mobilize mass demonstrations online, the NAACP finds itself struggling to remain on the cutting edge of the social justice movement.

As thousands of NAACP supporters gather here for the 108-year-old organization’s annual convention, the group is grappling with an urgent internal question: How can it better respond to the new realities confronting African-Americans without abandoning the principles that made it one of the nation’s leading forces for social change?

“The NAACP has to remember its history but also plan for the future,” said Baltimore Mayor Catherine E. Pugh, an NAACP life member who used to consult for the organization. “It is not just about social justice, but it is also about economic justice and being prepared to take advantage of opportunity.”

The NAACP also faces urgent external challenges. The most pressing are coming from President Donald Trump’s administration, which is pushing policy changes on health care, criminal justice reform, educational funding and voting rights that are adamantly opposed by the organization.

All of that is complicated by the demands of a younger generation that is impatient with the NAACP’s style of advocacy. Groups such as Black Lives Matter, for example, have led raucous demonstrations to force the issue of police brutality onto the national agenda. That kind of action can make the NAACP’s approach, working within the system to hammer out legal and legislative change, seem ponderous or even irrelevant.

Earlier this month, the African Methodist Episcopal Church’s (AME) Council of Bishops released a scathing open letter demanding that the NAACP reinvent itself. “We call upon the National Board of the NAACP to restructure the organization, define its mission and set forth its vision, lest it remain on its current path toward irrelevancy and ultimate demise … longevity alone is not proof of relevance,” the letter said.

NAACP leaders say they recognize the organization’s predicament and are working to address it. Cornell Brooks, an AME minister and Yale Law School graduate who served as the group’s president and CEO for three years, was forced out in May after the board decided not to renew his contract. Derrick Johnson, the board’s vice chairman and an adjunct professor at Tougaloo College in Mississippi, is serving as interim president and CEO until a permanent replacement is named. Officials said they expect a new leader to be in place by the end of the year.

The organization said it will embark on a national listening tour before hiring a permanent president. NAACP officials said the tour will visit seven cities to hear from activists around the country about its future direction.

The tour should “expand our reach, touch our people, engage more diverse audiences and reinforce our focus on civil rights in this age of great political and social uncertainty,” Johnson said.

NAACP board Chairman Leon Russell said that while the NAACP is determined to keep pace with the times, it does not want to lose its identity of successfully working within the system. He noted that the organization faced similar questions of relevance during the heyday of the civil rights movement, when groups such as the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, the Congress of Racial Equality and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference led street-level protests and sit-ins, while the NAACP supported their action by working for legislative and legal change. The same is true now with Black Lives Matter and other organizations, officials said.

“Groups like Black Lives Matter and others are important, and we appreciate and support what they do,” said Hilary O. Shelton, director of the NAACP’s Washington bureau, which lobbies Congress and other federal entities. “They shine a bright light on problems, which is a very important first step. Our role is to get the courts, the legislature and government agencies to address those problems.”

This year’s agenda for the convention reflects the organization’s insider priorities. On Monday, former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is scheduled to speak about how the Justice Department’s civil rights enforcement has eroded since Trump took office. More than a dozen members of Congress, including Democratic Sens. Kamala Harris and Cory Booker, will also address the convention. Trump was invited to speak, too, but turned down the offer.

Since its founding in 1909, the NAACP has been at the forefront in combating lynching, dismantling segregation and helping to gain voting rights for African-Americans. NAACP martyrs such as Medgar Evers and husband and wife Harry T. and Harriette Moore have been murdered as a result of their NAACP activism. But after piling up a string of landmark civil rights victories, the NAACP now finds its targets more elusive.

The organization claims more than 500,000 members and in 2015 reported a budget of more than $29 million. The group has 2,200 local chapters that deal with issues before local governments. Many of those issues never bubble up to national attention. That structure gives the group an important grass-roots presence. But it also gives it an unwieldy bureaucracy, and national leaders struggle to improve communication between often independent local branches and the national headquarters in Baltimore.

Akosua Ali, 34, president of the organization’s branch in Washington, D.C., said the fact that the NAACP has an organizational infrastructure sets it apart from many other social justice groups.

“I know we have the capacity to get things done, and that is important,” she said. “We have the foundation for training and learning and a history that is unrivaled. There is really no other organization that offers that training and structure.”

Daily Dose: 7/18/17 Michael Vick has some advice for Colin Kaepernick

I’m finally back home for more than a day, and I’m very happy about that. On Monday I was on The Ryen Russillo Show, and it was an excellent experience. If you want to hear the show, here you go. Hour 1, Hour 2, Hour 3.

Well, it looks like the latest health care plan has fallen apart, again. The goal of trying to keep America healthy has turned into a political battle that’s genuinely embarrassing on a global level. The GOP’s effort to repeal Obamacare fell short, again, because they didn’t have the votes. This fact apparently caught the White House off guard, which is bizarre, as everyone paying attention knew this wasn’t going to work. Now, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is calling for a repeal of the whole thing, with absolutely zero plan to replace it. What a mess.

Michael Vick, we didn’t think it’d be you. The former NFL quarterback, who knows a thing or two about image rehabilitation, went on television and gave some advice to Colin Kaepernick on how he might be able to get back in the league’s good graces. He told him to cut his hair. Without getting into a whole rant about how black hair is unfairly weaponized in America, I’ll just say this: Kaepernick’s hair is too important to cut at this point. Should it matter? No. But yes, alas, it does. Damien Woody was not a fan of Vick’s suggestion.

Summer is weird. While the weather is warm, and there’s a sense of elongated laziness and carefree mentality that people enjoy, there can also be a huge downside: depression. Why? Mainly because if you don’t have your life together and are forced to watch everybody else having fun in their seasonal happiness, it can wear on you. But there’s also a physical reason. As it turns out, too much light can negatively affect your body, never mind the actual temperature of the air. The dog days are for real.

Ezekiel Elliott is living his life. The star Dallas Cowboys running back seems to be in the headlines for one thing or another all the time, and it might end up costing him some cash. During the week he was supposed to meet with the NFL about how his offseason has gone, but he ended up getting into an altercation at a nightclub, which just isn’t a good look. Now he’s trying to appeal a speeding ticket. At this point it’s pretty clear the NFL is going to sit him down, even if it’s just for his own good.

Free Food

Coffee Break: I know you all love Game of Thrones. I don’t watch that show, but it’s not personal, it’s just not for me. I’m a robots-and-lasers guy, not a wizards-and-woods guy, but with the season premiere having just dropped, people are back at it. One question though: Where are all the black folks in this HBO series?

Snack Time: The Magic School Bus was a series of books that as a kid I didn’t admit that I liked, but I genuinely loved. Now it appears that Tracee Ellis Ross will play Mrs. Frizzle in a live-action version adaptation. Amazing.

Dessert: Some things you just can’t make up, kiddos.

This Southern University grad is turning Houston’s crack houses into homes For nearly 30 years, Leslie Smith has been a force for change in the Third Ward

Leslie Smith — 6-foot-3, bald, with a debonair look — may have GQ magazine appearance on the outside, but he certainly has a heart of gold on the inside.

In fact, some say the Southern University College of Business graduate has that Midas touch. With an abundance of dignity.

A minister without a traditional congregation, Smith buys and refurbishes dilapidated crack houses in Houston’s Third Ward and rents the refurbished homes at affordable rates. He has become a force for positive change in a depressed, 90 percent black area in dire need of transformation.

He bought his first crack house in 1989, the year Smith founded and became CEO of a community-help organization that he named Change Happens! (with a swoosh for the exclamation point). By 2017, Smith had purchased a total of 10 crack houses.

One of the dilapidated former crack houses to be renovated in Houston’s Third Ward by Change Happens!

Combine that with the 18 other neglected housing structures he’s purchased, and Smith has renovated 28 homes in Houston.

The 63-year-old Smith explained his mission to The Undefeated: “My work is my ministry. I love to give to those that are living and existing in very poor areas.”

During the Fourth of July holiday weekend, while many of us stuffed ourselves at barbecues, Smith was canvassing New Orleans’ Seventh, Eighth and Ninth wards, areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and still in search of hope.

Smith’s goal: to one day bring to the “Big Easy” his Houston model of transforming ramshackle structures into livable residences.

No holiday for a man on the move

As Smith says, “Time is money.” And access to capital and credit are necessary requirements to accomplish great deeds for the masses.

“Back when we were growing up, your word was your bond. Now, your word is your credit score.”

Theodore Taylor, a 42-year-old tow truck driver, knows about that. He is a tenant in one of Smith’s reconstructed houses. Taylor pays $650 a month for a two-bedroom, single-family home with central heat and air conditioning. These houses, cream-colored with burgundy trim, are surrounded by black iron fences and a feeling of safety, unlike before. Taylor had many kind words for Smith.

“We need more people like him,” Taylor said. “Nobody wants to invest in neighborhoods like this.”

Smith is currently leading a 12-person contingent from Houston to Haiti for a two-week humanitarian mission.

Leslie Smith

The group plans to deliver powdered milk, peanut butter, children’s backpacks and blankets to three orphanages.

“I’ve been doing this for 13 years,” Smith said. He visits Haiti three or four times a year.

Smith got an early start over most in the spirit of entrepreneurship and business acumen. How about at 9 years old?

“One day, my dad told me to come go with him,” Smith recalled. “He took me to a car dealership. He bought a Chevrolet Impala for $2,800. Back in those days, that was a lot of money. He pulled out that $2,800, all in $100 bills. The people at the dealership were shocked; a black man came in and did that. And my dad had only a high school education.”

The lesson: the power of paid in full. No lingering debt. “Cash on the barrel head,” as the folk of wisdom used to say back in the day.

“My dad had a Gulf Oil franchise (service/gas station) back in the late ’50s, early ’60s, in Shreveport, Louisiana,” Smith said. “His mom and dad helped put up the collateral for the franchise, so I consider myself a born entrepreneur.”

Now, with specks of gray in his goatee and an affinity for suits from Dillard’s, the bespectacled Smith lives in a loft in downtown Houston, participates in long-distance bicycle charity events (try pedaling from Houston to New Orleans), vacations in Mexico and retreats to saunas at the area YMCA to de-stress from a wildly busy schedule.

Asked whether he’s a millionaire, Smith responded, “No, I just control the millions. Remember, the bank owns the loans.”

Smith uses the business principles that he learned from Southern and his own entrepreneurial instincts to make a difference.

Donald R. Andrews, the 68-year-old dean of Southern’s College of Business, said we need more black folk like Smith who understand the tenets of small-business management.

“They must understand human resources, product management, sales, payroll management and economics,” said Andrews. “All of that is needed, even if it’s a nonprofit enterprise.”

Recognition for dedicated work

During Southern’s homecoming against Arkansas Pine-Bluff the weekend of Oct. 21, Smith was inducted into Beta Gamma Sigma, an international honor society serving business programs accredited by the Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business. Membership in BGS is the highest global recognition a business student can receive in a business program accredited by AACSB International.

Said Smith: “Business administration, marketing, management and entrepreneurship are the educational backgrounds that would help one become a successful entrepreneur. Southern University’s business school taught me the theory and the methodology of the practice of managing and growing a business.”

And Smith has experienced the delight of business growth.

His office is in a three-story brick building that houses Smith’s Change Happens!, formerly known as Families Under Urban & Social Attack. It’s 2,700 square feet, $3 million built from the ground up. The doors opened in 2005, and it’s within walking distance of Smith’s redeveloped houses. The colors of the office building: cream base with burgundy trim, again. “That’s my branding colors,” Smith explained.

“When I first came to the neighborhood and started buying property, a lot of black people thought white folks owned this,” Smith recollected. “They were surprised when they found out it was black people like me who owned these properties. It blew them away. We have to change that mindset.”

The Change Happens! building is the epicenter for Smith’s 70 full-time employees and his 18 community-help programs, which include after-school facilities for adolescents, health care enrollment assistance, youth drug prevention, computer training centers, adult education projects, libraries and more. Smith has gotten federal contracts with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Centers for Disease Control. He’s also been aided by contributions from fundraising events, sponsors and affluent donors.

“Leslie Smith is doing more than just remodeling houses,” Taylor the tenant said. “He’s also making changes. Unlike other contractors in the Third Ward, he’s saying you can stay here but with stipulations: no drugs, break-ins, stealing, none of that stuff.”

When Smith first started buying rickety structures in “Crack House Alley” with a $25,000 bank loan, he had to run off the drug dealers with their pit bull guard dogs and clean up the stashes of dirty needles, drugs and other paraphernalia left behind.

That process didn’t come about without confrontations with dealers and users.

“I told them that’s playing dirty,” Smith remembered. “I told them if they didn’t stop breaking into my houses, I would call the police.”

Then, Smith posted signs scattered about his properties with a rather eye-catching inscription: “God’s Property, Drug Free Zone.”

The criminals got the message. And so have others, in a more positive manner, as Smith has come a long way since 1989.

A heart of gold in a time of need.

Mayweather and McGregor are touring the world and other news of the week The Week That Was July 10-14

Monday 07.10.17

Bertha, the oldest hippopotamus living in captivity in the world, died from multiple organ failures; a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals spokesperson said the hippo lived a life of “boredom, misery and deprivation” while in captivity. Rob Kardashian is being represented in his legal battle with ex-fiancée Blac Chyna by attorney Robert Shapiro, who infamously teamed up with Kardashian’s father, Robert, during the O.J. Simpson murder trial. Possibly the result of its franchise being valued at $900 million while subsequently asking for a government handout, the company that owns the Detroit Pistons has been added to a federal lawsuit seeking a referendum vote on $34.5 million in public funds being used to move the team to downtown Detroit. Milwaukee Bucks head coach Jason Kidd is expecting another … kid. Fox broadcaster Joe Buck once ate a “pot brownie” while in Cabo, Mexico, and after some time, the letters on his phone started “flying off my phone into my face” and he could not feel his legs. An abandoned tourist resort once created by Adolf Hitler to house German factory workers is being transformed into a luxury real estate complex. In what feels like the 10th Ice Age sequel, the fossilized skull of a mammoth was found at the future site of a New York City subway station. Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.), filling in for WFAN radio host Mike Francesa, was called a bully and “fat ass” by a caller; Christie shot back that the caller was a “communist” and a “bum.” Donald Trump Jr., like his father, his brother-in-law, the vice president and the attorney general, has hired a lawyer. A Nevada man shot himself in the groin while driving down a highway. Hip-hop artist Tyler, The Creator may or may not have come out in one of the songs on his latest album, and Odd Future group mate Mike G. attempted to clear up the confusion by tweeting, “The homie not gay, he just likes dudes.” Notorious Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, whose new stadium will cost Miami-Dade County over $1 billion while the team currently holds a 41-46 record, is suing a season-ticket holder for refusing to subject himself to future Marlins games.

Tuesday 07.11.17

In a tag team match that could have only been dreamed up by the WWE, Charlotte Hornets owner Michael Jordan and former New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter are bidding against “Mr. Worldwide” Pitbull and former presidential candidate Jeb Bush to purchase the Marlins. Rob Goldstone, the British music publicist allegedly responsible for Trump Jr.’s legal woes, wears clothing labeled “C–TY,” “SEX” and, not too on the nose, “RUSSIA”; Goldstone also allegedly checked in at Trump Tower on Facebook the day he met with the president’s son regarding potentially incriminating information about Clinton. Trump Jr., still conceivably ignoring his counsel’s advice by “tweeting through it,” effectively snitched on himself by (ironically) releasing emails that prove the information he sought from a Russian lawyer was “part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.” Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), defending Trump Jr., told reporters that one of the things that endears him to the president is how much his kids love him: “He divorced their mothers and they loved him.” Vice President Mike Pence, whose name is Bennett, thus not in it, released a statement through his press secretary denying he was “aware of the meeting. He is also not focused on stories from the campaign — especially those pertaining to the time before he joined the campaign.” President Trump, who has tweeted passionate defenses of his former national security adviser and daughter in the past, released a statement about Trump Jr., calling him a “a high quality person.” Speaking of Trump, former American Idol runner-up and Celebrity Apprentice contestant Clay Aiken claims that the former host didn’t choose who he would famously “fire” on the show: “He didn’t make those decisions, he didn’t fire those people. It was very much, ‘I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.’ ” Ronald G. Wayne, the third co-founder of Apple, said he has never owned an Apple product and does not regret cashing in his 10 percent stake in the company for $800 back in 1976. A New York woman is suing former first daughter Chelsea Clinton for copyright infringement after Clinton published children’s book “She Persisted”; the woman said the book “looks like a ninth-grade homework assignment.” The first promotional tour stop for August’s Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Conor McGregor fight included McGregor wearing a pinstripe suit that read “F— You,” Mayweather saying McGregor had a chance because “a teacher beat Manny Pacquiao,” and McGregor calling Mayweather a “boy” and telling him to “dance for me.” Florida football coach Jim McElwain is still upset that he was confused for a man who was pictured naked humping a dead shark. A Chicago man seen distributing drugs from his car may have given out free samples of tainted heroin that has hospitalized at least eight people. For those who like to get high in the morning, marijuana-infused coffee, cocoa and tea, for use in Keurig machines, are now available for sale in Nevada dispensaries.

Wednesday 07.12.17

University of Utah doctors found that breast implants can slow down bullets. As readers of this article throw up their hands when they notice a fire hydrant in the way, a transportation analytics company found that motorists spend an average of 17 hours a year searching for parking. As lawmakers give up their summer vacation to push through a new health care bill, some Americans are turning to exorcisms instead of doctor’s offices. A Fox & Friends ticker referred to White House adviser Jared Kushner as “Jared Kosher”; Kushner is Jewish. The View host Whoopi Goldberg, in mixed company, told activist Deray Mckesson to “get over yourself” in response to Mckesson accusing producers of War for the Planet of the Apes of making one of the movie’s apes look like him. A New Hampshire McDonald’s is in a messy situation after a woman said her 5-year-old son was covered in poop after coming down a slide at the restaurant. Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) introduced articles of impeachment against President Trump, claiming that he “acted in a manner contrary to his trust as President and subversive of constitutional government, to the great prejudice of the cause of law and justice and to the manifest injury of the people of the United States”; the resolution was co-sponsored by a whopping one other member of the House, the aptly named Rep. Al Green (D-Texas). The White House, while attacking the Congressional Budget Office, inaccurately spelled “inaccurately” twice in a video it released. Miko Grimes, the wife of Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Brent Grimes, once beat up the girlfriend of one of Brent’s teammates who was living with them, smokes weed to mellow herself out from fighting, hates Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill’s wife and was asked by former Dolphins coach Joe Philbin to not post photos of birthday cakes depicting herself performing fellatio on her husband. Supposed musical artist Kid Rock, best known for a riveting speech where he said, “Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie,” is considering running for U.S. Senate in his home state of Michigan. Tennis star Serena “New Money” Williams tried to deposit her first $1 million check at her bank’s drive-thru ATM. A (white male) movie critic started his review of the black-female-helmed Girls Trip by telling Tyler Perry, who is not affiliated in any way with the movie, to “move over” and let “director Malcolm D. Lee show you how it’s done.”

Thursday 07.13.17

Former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, once accused of sexually harassing female co-workers and paying out millions of dollars in settlements for the women’s silence, demands that the “press practice the Missouri model: show me. Or shut up.” Former Chicago Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa can no longer be used as someone’s “black friend.” A day late, the Department of Justice finally released Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ security clearance forms, showing that Sessions misstated that he never had “any contact with a foreign government.” Conor McGregor’s “F— you” pinstripe suit took months to create and will be available for commercial sale. Trump, speaking for himself, told the audience at a joint news conference in Paris that “France is America’s first and oldest ally. A lot of people don’t know that.” In related news, actor Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Emmy for his portrayal of Trump during the latest season of Saturday Night Live. The personal attorney for Trump, in response to a man telling him to resign from his job, called the anonymous man a “b—-” and a “piece of s—” and promised that “you will see me.” For a story about undergarments at Wimbledon, The Wall Street Journal posted a tweet that read “Something’s not white” over a photo of Venus Williams; the tweet was deleted. A Texas contractor working at a local bank was trapped in the building’s ATM and had to slip messages through the machine’s receipt slot to be released. Cubs fans, possibly still drunk from last season’s drought-ending World Series title, have not cashed in over 30 percent of bets made in Las Vegas on the 2016 championship game. In more Chicago news, the news of White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana being traded to the Cubs was broken by Reddit users KatyPerrysBootyHole and Wetbutt23. Former UFC champion Jon “Bones” Jones, in response to admitting that he once snorted cocaine before a championship fight, said: “If you can afford to smoke a little weed, and do a little coke, and still win world titles, who’s to tell you you can’t?” Recently unemployed right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos calls his benefactors, billionaire couple Robert and Rebekah Mercer, “mom and dad.”

Friday 07.14.17

50 Cent responded to McGregor calling him a “b—-” on Thursday by posting a photo of the UFC champion being choked out by fellow mixed martial artist Nate Diaz; in other news, the Mayweather-McGregor fight is still somehow over a month away. Kermit the Frog, more than likely not sipping some tea, was fired on his day off. Gov. John Kasich (R-Ohio), auditioning for his next presidential run, called the GOP health care bill “still unacceptable” while also finding time to support repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act. Another person was at the meeting between Trump Jr. and a Russian attorney. Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving, still recovering from the Fourth of July, debuted “Mac & Cheese”-inspired children’s shoes, which also resemble the primary colors of the Golden State Warriors. New York City morning radio show The Breakfast Club, which once claimed R&B singer Miguel was gay, ran a Twitter poll that asked, “Who had the gayest hip hop lines?” The Washington D.C. Police Department reminded residents of the district’s marijuana laws by tweeting a gif of late actor Rodney Dangerfield and the movie Super Troopers, and using the words “reggie” and “loud.” O’Reilly, a powerful man accused of hurting folks, tweeted that “there is a growing anger in America that powerful people are hurting the folks.” An Olympic gold medalist was cleared of a drug test violation after an arbitrator concluded that the American man ingested a prohibited substance by kissing his girlfriend. Trump tweeted that he will attend the U.S. Women’s Open, an event he once threatened to sue, which is coincidentally taking place at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. Sen. Joe Donnelly (D-Ind.), who once criticized a local company for outsourcing jobs to Mexico, will sell his stock in a family business after a report came out that the company uses Mexican labor. Pittsburgh Steelers receiver Martavis Bryant, who enjoys using a substance that is legal in nine states and D.C., feels like he needs to have a “man-to-man” talk with Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who was twice accused of sexual assault (both cases were dismissed).