Daily Dose: 10/10/17 Mike Ditka is living in a fantasy world

The last time I was at the White House, it was to hang out at SXSL, President Barack Obama’s innovation conference on the South Lawn. Tuesday, I’ll be there to see the Pittsburgh Penguins meet President Donald Trump. Life changes.

While California has so many perks, the downsides are vicious. Beautiful weather, lovely terrain and generally agreeable people, to a certain extent. But there’s also the ever-present risk of earthquakes and wildfires. Now, in the Northern California wine country, an outbreak of blazes has killed 11 people. Thousands of buildings and acres of property have been damaged since 11 fires started burning. The photos from this disaster are really quite humbling, and officials say it could eventually be the worst in the history of the state.

It always amazes when people expose their own privilege. So when HBO’s Amanda Seales told folks on Twitter that if they’re spending money on Jordans and Nike suits as opposed to a passport that they’re losing, it ruffled some feathers. Why? Because the nonsensical respectability politics that come with this notion that traveling is the only thing that can broaden your horizons are extremely harmful. Not just because how people spend their money is their business, but for very real concerns, otherwise.

You know how people always reference their grandfathers? Typically when bringing up someone with a wildly outdated social view, or a stance that’s so misinformed, you presume they got it from a fake source? Well, Mike Ditka has seemingly become that guy. The old Chicago Bears player, coach and NFL Hall of Famer said in a radio interview that the United States hasn’t seen social oppression in the last 100 years, which is a nice round number to be wrong about on two fronts.

The U.S. men’s national soccer team has another qualifier Tuesday night. Last week, the Americans faced Panama in a game they effectively had to win to keep their chances to get to the next World Cup from being completely distant, and they won. So, in Tuesday night’s tilt against Trinidad and Tobago, the stakes are still high. If they win, they’re in the World Cup. Alas, there’s one problem. The field is absolute garbage. The stadium was flooded by storms, and that’s when all the finger-pointing began. The team isn’t using that as an excuse, though.

Free Food

Coffee Break: Nintendo’s new classic SNES console features a couple of dozen games and is a good enough retro toy for most people to cop and play with on their own, sans adjustments. But some folks always want to take things to the next level, and it turns out that hacking those modules is easier than you might think.

Snack Time: Gilbert Arenas is always involved in some foolishness, and his latest stunt with Mia Khalifa is exactly that. He aired her out over a DM slide, which is so petty and pointless.

Dessert: Here’s the official trailer for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I don’t love it, but it’s just a trailer.

Michael Bennett had gun pointed at his head by police and other news of the week The Week That Was Sept. 4-8

Monday 09.04.17

Denver Broncos quarterback Brock Osweiler, who signed a $72 million contract with the Houston Texans last year and went on to complete just 59 percent of his passes and throw 16 interceptions, said signing with Houston was like “when you’re a little kid and your mom, you know, she tells you, ‘Don’t touch the hot stove.’ So, what do you have to do as a curious kid? You’ve got to go touch the hot stove, and you learn real quick how nice that stove is when it’s not hot.” The Jacksonville Jaguars are so lacking in quality players that

they named a tight end and offensive lineman as team captains. New Tampa Bay Buccaneers safety T.J. Ward, once arrested for throwing a glass mug at a female bartender in a strip club, said his former team, the Denver Broncos, were “completely unprofessional” in how they cut him from the team last week. The Buffalo Bills signed quarterback Joe Webb; the 30-year-old played wide receiver last season. The Oakland Raiders are engaged in a $4 million “contractual standoff” with their … kicker.

Tuesday 09.05.17

Motivational speaker Sean “Diddy” Combs said, among other things, to “be a f—ing wolf … eat people’s faces off … [and] never apologize for being awesome.” Former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, once accused of assaulting a female reporter, will serve as a visiting professor at Harvard this fall; the school’s Institute of Politics said Lewandowski will engage in “dynamic interaction with our students.” President Trump, who rescinded an immigration policy that protected children of undocumented immigrants, pardoned a former sheriff who was accused of violating the civil rights of Hispanics and wants to spend billions of dollars on a wall along the border, said, “I have a great heart for” those affected by his most recent immigration policy decision. Former Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke, once a highly regarded law enforcement official and rumored Department of Homeland Security deputy secretary nominee, will serve in the distinguished role of spokesman for a pro-Trump super PAC. The Boston Red Sox, who, yes, hail from the same region as the New England Patriots, admitted to stealing hand signals from the New York Yankees using an Apple Watch. Washington Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins said the Lord told him to only sign a one-year, $24 million contract with the team this year; no word on whether the Lord also told him to throw two interceptions in a season-ending loss to the New York Giants last year.

Wednesday 09.06.17

A Pennsylvania man, attempting to keep it real, will be charged with disorderly conduct for asking Sen. Pat Toomey (R-Pennsylvania) if he knew “whether or not your daughter Bridget has been kidnapped?” Former Boston Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas, actually keeping it real, said, “I don’t think the Boston Celtics got better” by trading the All-Star to the Cleveland Cavaliers. A Hawaii football assistant coach, whose team has won just

20 games over the past six seasons, fractured his wrist and dislocated his elbow while celebrating a blocked kick last weekend. A Florida sheriff, showing tremendous dedication to protecting and serving, is threatening to detain people with warrants who attempt to seek shelter during Hurricane Irma. Also getting this whole compassion thing down, Trump told a North Dakota crowd, “You have a little bit of a drought. [Texas] had the opposite. Believe me, you’re better off.” Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) director, and creator of aptly named song “I Ain’t Bulls—-in’,” Luther Campbell told Florida residents that “you all can die” if they plan parties during Hurricane Irma.

Thursday 09.07.17

Waffle House restaurants, violator of many health code violations, are used by FEMA as a barometer for how an area will recover from a natural disaster. A Las Vegas police union, in trying to defend two officers accused of assaulting Seattle Seahawks defensive player Michael Bennett, brought up Bennett’s national anthem protest, the height of a barrier he allegedly jumped over and the racial identity of the officers instead of explaining why at least one of the officers aimed his weapon at the player’s head. Brooke Hogan, the daughter of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, said fellow legend Ric Flair, weeks removed from being placed in a medically induced coma, sounded like he was “full of piss and vinegar” and could return to the ring at the ripe age of 64. Former NFL player Steve Smith Sr., best known for his subdued temper and for once predicting there’d be “blood and guts everywhere,” now works at a Taco Bell. There’s a supervolcano underneath Yellowstone National Park that could kill us all. Commissioner Roger Goodell, paid over $30 million a year to run the National Football League, said he is not a “football expert.” In “racism is in the past” news, Texas A&M football coach Kevin Sumlin received a letter from an unknown sender this week that read: “You suck as a coach! You’re a n—– and can’t win! Please get lost! Or else.”

Friday 09.08.17

The NFL finally got around to adequately suspending 38-year-old free agent placekicker Josh Brown for allegedly abusing his ex-wife. Three days after proclaiming that Hurricane Irma is “a desire to advance this climate change agenda” by the “drive-by media,” right-wing radio host Rush Limbaugh will evacuate from Florida. Despite the continued unemployment of national anthem protester Colin Kaepernick, NFL ratings are still down. A Washington Redskins-themed restaurant, staying on brand, was forced into bankruptcy after just one year in operation. Florida Atlantic football coach Lane Kiffin thinks the Bible, like The Simpsons, predicted hurricanes Harvey and Irma. Golden State Warriors guard Nick Young caused the infamous locker room duel between Washington Wizards teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton in 2009.

Daily Dose: 7/27/17 John Urschel decides that NFL football is not worth the risk

There are people running around in football uniforms on my television, which leads me to believe that the NFL is apparently going to return soon. My favorite part about this coverage is hearing all the on-field music they have.

Football is dangerous. This isn’t news to most of us, but a recent report had some pretty damning numbers about the NFL and brain injuries that basically solidified the fact that chronic traumatic encephalopathy is just going to be a part of life in that league. Personally, I have no idea why this is so surprising to people. When you have a bunch of grown men bashing each other’s heads in at full speed, guess what? Dudes are going to be wildly concussed on a regular basis. You know who else knows that? Ravens O-lineman John Urschel. He retired Thursday at the age of 26.

Hillary Clinton is dropping a new book. It’s called What Happened, which might simultaneously be the best book title and tease I’ve ever seen in my life. This book could be about anything. Her college years! Her time as first lady of Arkansas! Her illustrious career as a senator and secretary of state! Her time in the White House! Her experience with parallel parking! Who knows! In all seriousness, if this book is about what everyone thinks it is, she’s going to make tons of cash off of it.

There was a time in my life when I liked Gilbert Arenas. But I don’t care how many buzzer-beaters he hit for my Washington Wizards, this dude is a super jerk. First, his foolish antics harassing Nick Young and his kids were just too foul for my taste, and now he’s still out here on Instagram, trying to somehow shame dark-skinned women. Who knows what Arenas’ problem is, but being a pretty dark-skinned brother himself, the self-hate is clearly very real.

Adrian Beltre is a surefire Hall of Famer. Mainly because of his on-the-field play, but he’s also No. 1 in my heart because of his attitude toward the game. In case you don’t know, he’s the guy who is not here for anyone touching his head, which is problematic when you hit so many homers. On Wednesday, however, he managed to get tossed from a game while in the on-deck circle, which is just plain awesome. MLB umpires are some of the biggest “look at me” officials in sports, and this was no different.

Free Food

Coffee Break: There are some headlines that are terrifying in concept and some that are scary in practice. Then, there are others that make you go check to see if your doors are locked because the situation presented is so terrifying. “Police: One-armed, machete-wielding clown arrested” is definitely in the latter category.

Snack Time: It may not mean much to you, but 12ozProphet is back, which is tremendous news for anyone interested in the street art or graffiti scene.

Dessert: I’ve stated my love for Cardi B a million times. And her latest is another banger.