Mayweather and McGregor are touring the world and other news of the week The Week That Was July 10-14

Monday 07.10.17

Bertha, the oldest hippopotamus living in captivity in the world, died from multiple organ failures; a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals spokesperson said the hippo lived a life of “boredom, misery and deprivation” while in captivity. Rob Kardashian is being represented in his legal battle with ex-fiancée Blac Chyna by attorney Robert Shapiro, who infamously teamed up with Kardashian’s father, Robert, during the O.J. Simpson murder trial. Possibly the result of its franchise being valued at $900 million while subsequently asking for a government handout, the company that owns the Detroit Pistons has been added to a federal lawsuit seeking a referendum vote on $34.5 million in public funds being used to move the team to downtown Detroit. Milwaukee Bucks head coach Jason Kidd is expecting another … kid. Fox broadcaster Joe Buck once ate a “pot brownie” while in Cabo, Mexico, and after some time, the letters on his phone started “flying off my phone into my face” and he could not feel his legs. An abandoned tourist resort once created by Adolf Hitler to house German factory workers is being transformed into a luxury real estate complex. In what feels like the 10th Ice Age sequel, the fossilized skull of a mammoth was found at the future site of a New York City subway station. Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.), filling in for WFAN radio host Mike Francesa, was called a bully and “fat ass” by a caller; Christie shot back that the caller was a “communist” and a “bum.” Donald Trump Jr., like his father, his brother-in-law, the vice president and the attorney general, has hired a lawyer. A Nevada man shot himself in the groin while driving down a highway. Hip-hop artist Tyler, The Creator may or may not have come out in one of the songs on his latest album, and Odd Future group mate Mike G. attempted to clear up the confusion by tweeting, “The homie not gay, he just likes dudes.” Notorious Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, whose new stadium will cost Miami-Dade County over $1 billion while the team currently holds a 41-46 record, is suing a season-ticket holder for refusing to subject himself to future Marlins games.

Tuesday 07.11.17

In a tag team match that could have only been dreamed up by the WWE, Charlotte Hornets owner Michael Jordan and former New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter are bidding against “Mr. Worldwide” Pitbull and former presidential candidate Jeb Bush to purchase the Marlins. Rob Goldstone, the British music publicist allegedly responsible for Trump Jr.’s legal woes, wears clothing labeled “C–TY,” “SEX” and, not too on the nose, “RUSSIA”; Goldstone also allegedly checked in at Trump Tower on Facebook the day he met with the president’s son regarding potentially incriminating information about Clinton. Trump Jr., still conceivably ignoring his counsel’s advice by “tweeting through it,” effectively snitched on himself by (ironically) releasing emails that prove the information he sought from a Russian lawyer was “part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.” Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), defending Trump Jr., told reporters that one of the things that endears him to the president is how much his kids love him: “He divorced their mothers and they loved him.” Vice President Mike Pence, whose name is Bennett, thus not in it, released a statement through his press secretary denying he was “aware of the meeting. He is also not focused on stories from the campaign — especially those pertaining to the time before he joined the campaign.” President Trump, who has tweeted passionate defenses of his former national security adviser and daughter in the past, released a statement about Trump Jr., calling him a “a high quality person.” Speaking of Trump, former American Idol runner-up and Celebrity Apprentice contestant Clay Aiken claims that the former host didn’t choose who he would famously “fire” on the show: “He didn’t make those decisions, he didn’t fire those people. It was very much, ‘I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.’ ” Ronald G. Wayne, the third co-founder of Apple, said he has never owned an Apple product and does not regret cashing in his 10 percent stake in the company for $800 back in 1976. A New York woman is suing former first daughter Chelsea Clinton for copyright infringement after Clinton published children’s book “She Persisted”; the woman said the book “looks like a ninth-grade homework assignment.” The first promotional tour stop for August’s Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Conor McGregor fight included McGregor wearing a pinstripe suit that read “F— You,” Mayweather saying McGregor had a chance because “a teacher beat Manny Pacquiao,” and McGregor calling Mayweather a “boy” and telling him to “dance for me.” Florida football coach Jim McElwain is still upset that he was confused for a man who was pictured naked humping a dead shark. A Chicago man seen distributing drugs from his car may have given out free samples of tainted heroin that has hospitalized at least eight people. For those who like to get high in the morning, marijuana-infused coffee, cocoa and tea, for use in Keurig machines, are now available for sale in Nevada dispensaries.

Wednesday 07.12.17

University of Utah doctors found that breast implants can slow down bullets. As readers of this article throw up their hands when they notice a fire hydrant in the way, a transportation analytics company found that motorists spend an average of 17 hours a year searching for parking. As lawmakers give up their summer vacation to push through a new health care bill, some Americans are turning to exorcisms instead of doctor’s offices. A Fox & Friends ticker referred to White House adviser Jared Kushner as “Jared Kosher”; Kushner is Jewish. The View host Whoopi Goldberg, in mixed company, told activist Deray Mckesson to “get over yourself” in response to Mckesson accusing producers of War for the Planet of the Apes of making one of the movie’s apes look like him. A New Hampshire McDonald’s is in a messy situation after a woman said her 5-year-old son was covered in poop after coming down a slide at the restaurant. Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) introduced articles of impeachment against President Trump, claiming that he “acted in a manner contrary to his trust as President and subversive of constitutional government, to the great prejudice of the cause of law and justice and to the manifest injury of the people of the United States”; the resolution was co-sponsored by a whopping one other member of the House, the aptly named Rep. Al Green (D-Texas). The White House, while attacking the Congressional Budget Office, inaccurately spelled “inaccurately” twice in a video it released. Miko Grimes, the wife of Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Brent Grimes, once beat up the girlfriend of one of Brent’s teammates who was living with them, smokes weed to mellow herself out from fighting, hates Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill’s wife and was asked by former Dolphins coach Joe Philbin to not post photos of birthday cakes depicting herself performing fellatio on her husband. Supposed musical artist Kid Rock, best known for a riveting speech where he said, “Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie,” is considering running for U.S. Senate in his home state of Michigan. Tennis star Serena “New Money” Williams tried to deposit her first $1 million check at her bank’s drive-thru ATM. A (white male) movie critic started his review of the black-female-helmed Girls Trip by telling Tyler Perry, who is not affiliated in any way with the movie, to “move over” and let “director Malcolm D. Lee show you how it’s done.”

Thursday 07.13.17

Former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, once accused of sexually harassing female co-workers and paying out millions of dollars in settlements for the women’s silence, demands that the “press practice the Missouri model: show me. Or shut up.” Former Chicago Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa can no longer be used as someone’s “black friend.” A day late, the Department of Justice finally released Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ security clearance forms, showing that Sessions misstated that he never had “any contact with a foreign government.” Conor McGregor’s “F— you” pinstripe suit took months to create and will be available for commercial sale. Trump, speaking for himself, told the audience at a joint news conference in Paris that “France is America’s first and oldest ally. A lot of people don’t know that.” In related news, actor Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Emmy for his portrayal of Trump during the latest season of Saturday Night Live. The personal attorney for Trump, in response to a man telling him to resign from his job, called the anonymous man a “b—-” and a “piece of s—” and promised that “you will see me.” For a story about undergarments at Wimbledon, The Wall Street Journal posted a tweet that read “Something’s not white” over a photo of Venus Williams; the tweet was deleted. A Texas contractor working at a local bank was trapped in the building’s ATM and had to slip messages through the machine’s receipt slot to be released. Cubs fans, possibly still drunk from last season’s drought-ending World Series title, have not cashed in over 30 percent of bets made in Las Vegas on the 2016 championship game. In more Chicago news, the news of White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana being traded to the Cubs was broken by Reddit users KatyPerrysBootyHole and Wetbutt23. Former UFC champion Jon “Bones” Jones, in response to admitting that he once snorted cocaine before a championship fight, said: “If you can afford to smoke a little weed, and do a little coke, and still win world titles, who’s to tell you you can’t?” Recently unemployed right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos calls his benefactors, billionaire couple Robert and Rebekah Mercer, “mom and dad.”

Friday 07.14.17

50 Cent responded to McGregor calling him a “b—-” on Thursday by posting a photo of the UFC champion being choked out by fellow mixed martial artist Nate Diaz; in other news, the Mayweather-McGregor fight is still somehow over a month away. Kermit the Frog, more than likely not sipping some tea, was fired on his day off. Gov. John Kasich (R-Ohio), auditioning for his next presidential run, called the GOP health care bill “still unacceptable” while also finding time to support repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act. Another person was at the meeting between Trump Jr. and a Russian attorney. Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving, still recovering from the Fourth of July, debuted “Mac & Cheese”-inspired children’s shoes, which also resemble the primary colors of the Golden State Warriors. New York City morning radio show The Breakfast Club, which once claimed R&B singer Miguel was gay, ran a Twitter poll that asked, “Who had the gayest hip hop lines?” The Washington D.C. Police Department reminded residents of the district’s marijuana laws by tweeting a gif of late actor Rodney Dangerfield and the movie Super Troopers, and using the words “reggie” and “loud.” O’Reilly, a powerful man accused of hurting folks, tweeted that “there is a growing anger in America that powerful people are hurting the folks.” An Olympic gold medalist was cleared of a drug test violation after an arbitrator concluded that the American man ingested a prohibited substance by kissing his girlfriend. Trump tweeted that he will attend the U.S. Women’s Open, an event he once threatened to sue, which is coincidentally taking place at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. Sen. Joe Donnelly (D-Ind.), who once criticized a local company for outsourcing jobs to Mexico, will sell his stock in a family business after a report came out that the company uses Mexican labor. Pittsburgh Steelers receiver Martavis Bryant, who enjoys using a substance that is legal in nine states and D.C., feels like he needs to have a “man-to-man” talk with Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who was twice accused of sexual assault (both cases were dismissed).

Wale officiates a WWE rap battle and other news of the week The Week That Was July 3-7

Monday 07.3.17

President Donald Trump tweeted: “At some point the Fake News will be forced to discuss our great jobs numbers, strong economy, success with ISIS, the border & so much else!” An hour later, CNBC posted that General Motors’ June U.S. sales were “down 4.7% vs. estimate 1.8% decline.” Not even a person with zero front office experience wanted to work for Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert. NBC News referred to Sally Hemings, President Thomas Jefferson’s slave and victim, as the former president’s “mistress.” A family carrying $93,000 in undeclared cash on their person through the Philadelphia International Airport were returned just $3,000 of the cash after being stopped by federal agents. The city of St. Louis has decided to push its minimum wage back from $10 per hour to $7.70; Gov. Eric Greitens (R-Missouri) said the previous wage, a 23 percent difference, would “take money out of people’s pockets.” Five alcohol companies have pledged over $67 million to study whether or not there are any scientific benefits to having a glass of alcohol a day. Oregon police killed an armed man trying to steal a helicopter from a local airport. Golden State Warriors forward and NBA Finals MVP Kevin Durant took about $9 million less in salary for some reason. Hip-hop artist Azealia Banks, who once called fellow rapper Iggy Azalea “Igloo Australia” and threatened to “throw a jar of my piss at her,” will join Azalea on a future song. A spokesman for Gov. Paul LePage (R-Maine) called assertions of the governor leaving the state for a 10-day vacation amid budget negotiations “fake news” despite two lawmakers from the same party claiming that the governor called and told them himself. Chief Justice John Roberts, speaking at his son’s graduation, told students, “I hope you will be treated unfairly so that you will come to know the value of justice”; four days before, the Supreme Court partially allowed the banning of Muslims from six countries. A 73-year-old Colorado woman drove an SUV into the swimming pool of a local resort. Kato Kaelin, friend of O.J. Simpson and a witness in the former football player’s murder trial, won a $12,000 raffle at a Milwaukee Brewers game. The White House refused to comment on the origin of the WWE-inspired video that Trump tweeted out on Sunday, denying that the video came from an anti-Semitic Reddit user.

Tuesday 07.4.17

CNN identified the Reddit user who created the GIF of Trump pummeling a WWE performer with a CNN logo superimposed over the wrestler’s face, which the president subsequently posted to his personal Twitter account; the user also apologized for his other offensive posts, claiming, “One of my best friends is a homosexual and one of my best friends is Jewish and one of my best friends is Muslim.” In “who made the potato salad?” news, a Washington Post food editor added cauliflower and feta cheese to his recipe. Hall of Fame professional wrestler Ric Flair, 68, and rapper Waka Flocka Flame, 31, celebrated Independence Day together. The Youngstown State University Police Department warned travelers about not wearing their seat belts to the tune of rap trio Migos’ “Bad and Boujee”: “Rain drops. Drop tops. This Independence Day weekend don’t get caught with your seatbelt OFF OFF OFF. U know what we’re saying @Migos.” In unrelated news, last month a YSU police officer was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated. Hip-hop artist Wale officiated a rap battle between professional wrestlers New Day and the Usos during WWE’s Smackdown Live, with the latter mentioning the alleged sex tape of one of the members of the former. ESPN’s Chris Haynes reported that Utah Jazz forward Gordon Hayward agreed to sign with the Boston Celtics, other reporters confirmed the report, and then minutes later Hayward’s agent refuted the alleged deal; five hours later, Hayward announced that he had indeed signed with the Celtics. Boston guard Marcus Smart tweeted, “What a celebration on this 4th of July! @gordonhayward Congrats and welcome!” and minutes later, it was reported that the Celtics were trying to trade Smart. Jazz center Rudy Gobert, Hayward’s former teammate, posted a video on his social media account singing along to Chris Brown’s “Loyal,” which includes the lyrics: “These hoes ain’t loyal.” The heirs of a Florida man who hid his dead wife’s body in a freezer for eight years to continue collecting her Social Security checks have repaid the government over $15,000. The Minnesota judge who presided over the Philando Castile manslaughter case wrote a letter of support to the jury that was responsible for acquitting Saint Anthony, Minnesota, police officer Jeronimo Yanez. A tennis website said No. 82-ranked Mandy Minella pulled “a Serena” by playing a Grand Slam match while pregnant, though, unlike Serena Williams at January’s Australian Open, Minella lost in the first round of Wimbledon. Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid yelled, “F— LaVar Ball!” during an Instagram livestream.

Wednesday 07.5.17

Rapper Tupac Shakur once told singer Madonna, whom he dated in the early 1990s, that he could no longer date her because she was white, and “I would be letting down half of the people who made me what I thought I was.” Corona beer signed a marketing deal with the University of Texas; the school’s athletic director called the partnership an opportunity to “promote the excitement and pageantry of collegiate sports.” Flying ants took over courts at Wimbledon. Reality television star Rob Kardashian posted nude photos of his ex-fiancée Blac Chyna on his Instagram account, accusing her of cheating with multiple men and having a drug and alcohol problem. Loquacious rapper T.I. butted in, for some reason, telling Kardashian to “take this L” and not look like a “Ronald McDonald the Duck”; Kardashian, still not getting out of his own way, then responded by accusing T.I. of paying Blac Chyna to have a threesome with him and his estranged wife, Tameka “Tiny” Harris. A conspiracy theory surrounding the murder of a former Democratic National Committee staffer is now being used to sell anti-aging face cream. Hip-hop artist Lil Yachty does not eat fruit. Vatican police busted a drug-fueled gay orgy at the apartment of an aide to one of Pope Francis’s closest advisers. In the most anticipated matchup since Mitt Romney-Evander Holyfield, late-night TV host Chelsea Handler will debate recently fired TV host Tomi Lahren. Los Angeles Clippers coach Doc Rivers plans to replace recently departed players Chris Paul, J.J. Redick and Jamal Crawford with 35-year-old guard Tony Allen. Cleveland Cavaliers forward Richard Jefferson, entering his 17th season and owed $2.5 million next year, is surprisingly not expected to retire this offseason. Filming and producing virtual reality porn is apparently hard. The Amazing Spider-Man actor Andrew Garfield, with the help of RuPaul’s Drag Race, came out as gay “just without the physical act.”

Thursday 07.6.17

Basketball prodigies Lonzo, LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball nabbed the cover of SLAM Magazine without father LaVar, who, not to be forgotten, wrote the cover story. Much like O.J. Simpson’s search for the real killer, President Donald Trump, seven months later, still hasn’t found the real hackers of the Democratic National Committee. Meanwhile, while speaking in Europe, the president pivoted between doubting Russia was involved in the 2016 election and blaming former President Barack Obama for not doing enough to stop Russia from meddling. Sports Illustrated found at least 40 people named after NBA Hall of Famer Shaquillle O’Neal — and two of them have younger brothers named Kobe. A female Capitol Hill reporter was barred from the House chamber because she was wearing a sleeveless dress. Gov. Paul LePage (R-Maine), best known for accusing “D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty” of selling drugs and impregnating white women in his state, told a local radio station that he makes up stories so the news media will “write these stupid stories because they are just so stupid, it’s awful”; LePage added that “the sooner the print press goes away, the better society will be.” USA Today celebrated National Fried Chicken Day by tweeting out a GIF of actress Octavia Spencer in a scene from The Help; the tweet was later deleted. U.S. Energy Secretary Rick Perry, who apparently fell asleep during the first day of Econ 101, lectured reporters at a coal plant: “Here’s a little economics lesson: supply and demand. You put the supply out there and the demand will follow.” The Cleveland Cavaliers, almost a week into NBA free agency and still without a general manager, lowballed general manager candidate Chauncey Billups by almost $2 million a year before the former NBA guard removed himself from consideration for the job on Monday. Nineteen-year Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki, still not about his paper, will sign a two-year, $10 million deal to remain in the Lone Star State. Four Brazilian soccer players were kicked off their team after video of one of the players masturbating two others was released online; club president Gilmar Rosso said, “If they want to get drunk, [be] gay or not, that’s their business.” The famous “Boomshakalaka” play-by-play call from 1990s video game NBA Jam was a misquote of Sly and the Family Stone’s “I Want To Take You Higher.”

Friday 07.7.17

Blue Ivy Carter, the daughter of JAY-Z, freestyled on her father’s new album, at one point rapping, “Boom shakalaka, boom shakalaka,” even though NBA Jam debuted 19 years before she was born. The Washington Nationals-Atlanta Braves rain-delayed-despite-little-rain game ended at 1:20 a.m. EST; fans at National Park were rewarded with free soda, ice cream, water, a transit system that shut down an hour into the game — and a 5-2 Nationals loss. A U.S. Mint employee was placed on administrative leave after leaving a noose made out of the rope used to seal coin bags on the chair of an African-American colleague. Atlanta Hawks guard Tim Hardaway Jr., son of five-time All-Star Tim Hardaway Sr., received a $71 million offer sheet from the New York Knicks; the elder Hardaway made just $47.1 million in his entire 14-year career. At the book party for conservative author Milo Yiannopoulos, chants of “F— CNN” broke out while little people in yarmulkes dressed as conservative commentator Ben Shapiro, who is Jewish, danced among the partygoers. All but settling the matter, the Russian foreign minister said Trump accepted Vladimir Putin’s “assurances that Russia didn’t meddle in the U.S. election.” A phallic-shaped rock formation in Norway that was intentionally damaged last month has been properly restored. Rob Kardashian, who posted nude photographs of his ex-fiancée Blac Chyna earlier in the week, was served with notice of a restraining order. Twenty-four-year-old rapper 21 Savage, who is dating 33-year-old model Amber Rose, said one of the benefits of dating older women is she makes him do things he doesn’t normally do, like “take vitamins and drink water.” Former college basketball coach Bobby Knight, who somehow wandered into the offices of the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency back in 2015, was accused of groping four employees of the spy agency. Gonorrhea is becoming harder to treat with antibiotics. LaVar Ball shot back at Joel Embiid, saying that people who use cuss words like the 76ers center “don’t have no intellect”; Ball added that he had “three words for him: Can’t. Play. At. All,” which is actually four words.

Daily Dose: 7/7/17 Venus Williams’ Wimbledon greatness continues

This week of radio has come to a close, but this time I filled in with Izzy Gutierrez on The Dan Le Batard Show. If you want to listen to all three hours, you can do that here, here and here. Summer holiday week radio, kiddos.

Trump and Putin met for a long time today. They were supposed to sit down for only a half-hour or so, but the meeting stretched to more than two hours, which is leading all sorts of people to speculate about what they actually discussed since they finally had some privacy. If you believe that these two have been in cahoots all along, this doesn’t exactly bode well. But, then again … well, actually, never mind. Lord knows what went on in that get-together, so here’s what we at least think we can deduce.

When I take Amtrak to NYC and back, the computing situation is always dicey. Wi-Fi is always tough, so expecting to get any work done is never realistic. But some people take things next level when it comes to trains. Talking in the quiet car is one thing, but this woman in the U.K. is a complete hero. She brought her entire iMac on to a moving train. Why anyone would do this, iHave no idea, but props for pulling it off. Seriously, what on earth do you have to be working on for this to be required? I’ll never know.

People who don’t clean up after their dogs are monsters. It’s gross, unsanitary and, in many cases, illegal. There are various ways to confront people who do this. The No. 1 seed in that tournament is to simply approach the person and say, “Hey, get it together.” Or, you can put up a bunch of passive-aggressive signs around your neighborhood with goofy cartoons on them. But one person wants to know if it’s worth going all the way to the wall with, by ratting out the offenders to the apartment building authorities. Short answer: no.

Venus Williams is still fighting the good fight. She beat Japan’s Naomi Osaka in straight sets, leaving her as the only champion left in the women’s draw at Wimbledon. Of course, little sister Serena isn’t playing because she’s having a baby, but it should also be said that Venus is the oldest woman to ever enter the draw at the All-England Club. When it’s all said and done, it’s hard to overstate how great she’s been, particularly at this tournament. She’s won more trophies at Wimbledon than at any other Grand Slam tournament, and I’m rooting for her to keep rolling.

Free Food

Coffee Break: If you don’t like Lil Yachty, I don’t know what to tell you. The kid exudes positivity, makes bangers and has his career together, but there are still people in these streets hating on him as a mumble rapper. He calls himself the King of the Teens, but what happens when he hits his 20s?

Snack Time: Blac Chyna has filed for a restraining order against Rob Kardashian. This is a stunning development in the K clan, as he decided to go full-blown revenge porn on her, which is never the right move. What a mess.

Dessert: Here’s an A$AP Rocky song to take you into the weekend. Happy summer.

‘The Wopsters’ are coming Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka’oir have a new reality show on BET

Instagram Photo

Considering the year he’s had, Gucci Mane’s life has to be pretty interesting at this point. His comeback star turn has reached epic proportions, and he’s been putting out music the entire time as well. Now, it could take another step toward the top.

On Monday, his fiancée, Keyshia Ka’oir, announced via Instagram that the two would be starring in a new series called The Wopsters on BET, leading up to their wedding on Oct. 17. And for as much as we’re looking forward to more Guwop, the real star here is Ka’oir. This could be the Hollywood come-up she’s deserved for some time. If you don’t know, she’s a serious entrepreneur who, when this all is said and done, can take full credit for Wop’s life now.

She’s a fitness entrepreneur who’s been at it for years. Her “link in bio” game crushes yours. In an era in which the hustle from wherever you are to celebrity is finally being rewarded for black women (see: Blac Chyna and my personal favorite, Cardi B), this should do wonders for Ka’oir. By the way, if you don’t know the full story of how they met or how they managed to keep things together while he was in jail, and how she got him home without a whole bunch of nonsense from cameras, read this. It’s excellent.

A famous black couple on television living healthy lifestyles and enjoying life? Yes, more of that please. And make sure that Zaytoven writes the theme song and plays at the wedding.

Daily Dose: 3/29/17 Blac Chyna is not here for the games

We taped another podcast yesterday, and this time Rhiannon Walker joined us to talk about the NCAA Men’s Final Four, the Oakland Raiders moving to Vegas and the merits of going on reality television. Have a listen!

Michael Irvin’s career has always been an up-and-down one. The Miami kid who made it huge in professional football is no stranger to a courtroom. The NFL Hall of Famer has been accused of sexual assault more than once in his lifetime and has been exonerated multiple times in said cases as well. Now, he’s 51 years old and these things have been bad old news for a while, but it’s happened again. A female acquaintance has accused the former Dallas Cowboys receiver of sexual assault and he says she’s lying.

People are willing to do a lot of things to look better. It’s why the world of cosmetic surgery exists. But those procedures are generally quite expensive. So as a result, people often will do all sorts of foolishness in order to make short cuts, which is basically a bad idea always. Playing around with dodgy surgery is never a smart move. And where there’s a will, there’s a scam. The South Florida doctor who made a fortune injecting tire fluid into people’s behinds under the guise of “implants” is going to prison for 10 years.

Blac Chyna is a legend in the game. If you’re not familiar with her rise to fame and power, you can consult this handy guide. (That story, btw, was the best written piece I saw last year.) Her situation with Tyga is an awkward one because they have a baby together. But Chyna also just had Rob Kardashian’s baby. Why does that matter? Because Tyga is dating Rob’s sister. Gotta love Los Angeles. Anyway, apparently Tyga is not paying child support and Chyna is airing out his whole life on Snapchat.

The other shoe is beginning to drop for Joe Mixon. The Oklahoma Sooners running back who assaulted a woman in a restaurant is high on some people’s draft boards. But with video of him punching a woman in the face in public domain, there’s an understandable reticence to pick him high, never mind have him on your NFL team at all. But, he’s also pretty good at football, so, there’s that. Well, one team has officially taken him off their board, for obvious reasons. That team is the New England Patriots.

Free Food

Coffee Break: We’re in an era in which cameras of all types of professional abilities are available to the general public for prices that aren’t completely out of reach for the average person who wants to invest. For example, Samsung now has a new 360 camera that works with iPhones, if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s $350.

Snack Time: Never have I been off-roading, but I’d love to. Not in an ATV or one of those typical trucks that everyone else does it in. I want to go shred mud in one of these.

Dessert: If you want people to take something seriously, never put it to popular vote.