Black love: Sensitive thugs need hugs After home visits, Eric opens up on ‘The Bachelorette’

They say you never forget your first love.

For fans of the Bachelor franchise, we’ll never forget when Eric decided to declare his feelings to Rachel in the Spanish countryside. We certainly won’t misremember when Peter said to her that to him engagement is the same as marriage. And the look on Bryan’s face when Rachel’s sister Constance asked her how it’s possible that they fell in love so quickly is burned into our brains.

But Monday night, after meeting The Bachelorette’s mother, pregnant sister, sister’s husband and a couple of other members of her Dallas-based family, we all learned something about ourselves. To be clear, I am not listing these in the order of appearance, so deal with it.

It should be noted the format was switched up a tad bit for this, so all three guys were in town while the others visited the house as well. This created a bit of a rapid-fire effect, which certainly took its toll on the family. Normally, there would have just been two. For the purposes of brevity, I’m going to combine both the parent experiences and vacation experiences of each.

I’ll also say at this point that if this were me, I would have bailed after meeting these people. Nothing personal, necessarily, but a) not being able to meet her father because he’s a federal judge, b) they are clearly mega-rich and c) they have a chessboard and a telescope in the same room. Three strikes.

Let’s get to the action.

Peter

If nothing else, this man is honest. He told Rachel last week that he wasn’t necessarily going to propose even if he won, a shocking dose of reality from a guy who had the nerve to trot out two black friends in Wisconsin to tout his bona fides on “tolerance,” as if this were the 1960s.

The picture above is of him talking to Rachel’s mother, exposing the look he had on his face almost the entire episode. It was somewhere between “I didn’t actually think this whole ‘marrying a famous black woman’ thing through” and “my God, her family is richer than mine, this is awkward.” If for no other reason than it clearly made him more comfortable, the fact that Rachel’s sister Constance’s husband is white was certainly a calming influence on the family dynamic.

His run of incredibly lucky date opportunities continued, with the two of them this time going shopping for baby clothes for Constance, obviously a win-win situation all around. He gets to talk about how much he loves kids without any actually being present and, on the back end, show up with something for the family that someone actually needs, instead of just a smile and some weak lines about being ready for the next step.

The strangest juncture came when he and Rachel finally sat down to discuss their partnership and Peter basically was unwilling to compromise his previously established values for the sake of a television program. Which leads to the obvious question of: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANYWAY? … but we’ll get to that later. He contends that he doesn’t want to waste an engagement on a marriage, which is apparently a thing that dudes do.

We’re also guessing he doesn’t like the fact that she’s seen Rachel buy Bryan a Breitling and, in general, still just isn’t really all that comfortable with the fact that he hasn’t won this already. It’s one thing to be against a whole group of guys. It’s quite another when you’ve all got relationships with each other and one of you might not end up getting the proverbial prize, here.

Yayaya Peter’s so sexy and fun. He’s been treating this whole thing like it’s a forced arranged marriage, and his hair is my favorite part about him on this show.

Bryan

This was a disaster right out of the gate. His pre-family meet date was a weak sauce brunch with two of Rachel’s friends, who looked and acted exactly like the type of people you’d meet at your new girlfriend’s brunch who have one too many questions about who you are for polite company. They were talking about the guy like he wasn’t even there, and the whole thing appeared rather unproductive, even for Bachelorette standards.

Things really got moving when they got to the house. Bryan’s No. 1 mistake was looking sloppy. His shirt was a little too big to be untucked and a little too casual to also be unbuttoned, giving him a look simply not befitting of a 37-year-old man whose mom is a little too attached to him. Oh, wait.

Anyway, no one in the family liked him from the beginning, and it showed. Just at lunch, he was fielding questions from all sides and at one point had to leave the table because he was under so much pressure. At which point, Rachel jumped in to point out exactly how much she didn’t appreciate this from them.

It’s worth noting that some of us have thought Bryan was a fraud from the jump. Not that he was necessarily trying to play Rachel, but this was all effectively a game for him, to up his popularity back in Miami, where he’s just another old dude in the club. Of course, that vibe plays well on TV with a bunch of other guys from the Midwest, but in the 305, he’s nothing special. He needs this to keep his playboy vibe relevant, because that “good with my hands” line is getting old.

That said, Rachel’s family made it incredibly awkward. It might be their job to protect their girl, but she’s also a grown-up who knows her way around the world. The whole thing felt gratuitous. In chronological order, Bryan was the last to visit, which made it feel like they were just ready to have these people out of their house.

No one particularly impressed, but we did get a plethora of Constance memes and GIFs, so be ready to deploy those from here till kingdom come.

This is the point where I point out that I think the word “love” should be banned from this show altogether. It would solve so many problems and force people to genuinely appreciate each other without these over-the-top declarations that add unnecessary pressure to something that is ultimately fake. I have thought this for years, and will staunchly defend that stance. Except …

Eric

Look, no one thought this dude would make it this far. He was the first person to nearly fall into Lee’s racist trap, but he made it out of that and outlasted quite a few other guys who might have had him beat on personality and emotion. And, to be even more frank, I’ve really only been talking about these other dudes for the sake of posterity, because this episode was all about Eric. Let me explain.

When this whole thing got serious, nobody counted him in. He barely made the cut to hometowns when he was part of the group date — but next thing we know, here he is, after having a legit parent reconciliation on national television. That’s important, because let’s not forget what happened to Dean, who ambushed his dad with an emotional roller coaster to the point that he ended up getting booted off the show. It was too much.

But Eric was thoughtful and patient about explaining his circumstance. His parents were separated. Love wasn’t really part of the picture. Never mind his personal circumstance of being a product of Baltimore, where the street life was a very real draw and threat at the same time. In short, he was very honest about his emotional availability. It was next to none. He’d never told a girl he loved her. The last time he’d met a woman’s family was in college at Thanksgiving, and the time before that was prom. He was at a clear disadvantage walking into that house.

Let me explain this in no uncertain terms as someone who’s been there. Eric is about as in touch as anyone I’ve ever seen in terms of being self-aware about his own insecurities regarding his family life and what he wants to get to. I’m genuinely superimpressed by his communication. It’s SO easy to psych yourself out when you see a healthy unit and sabotage yourself for the purposes of not wanting to upset someone else’s seemingly perfect situation.

“I’m nervous because going into this, I’m always confident, especially with you,” Eric says while they sip champagne atop some tower restaurant overlooking Dallas. “But it’s your family, and it’s one of those things, it’s like, I’ve never been in this process at this point. Like, about to get engaged with someone. Like, meeting someone’s family for the first time.”

At this point, Rachel seems a bit bored, if not annoyed. It feels like he’s trying to find a way to screw this up, and she ain’t got time for that. But at this point, we start to notice something in Eric we haven’t seen before. His voice is a little softer and more playful. He smiles more. He’s actually not afraid to express a little joy here and there without qualifying it. Dude is very anxious but doesn’t just have to resort to primal screams to make up for it.

When they get there, he doles out a couple of church handshakes and gets right down to business. They were openly hating since they loved Peter so much, which didn’t help his cause. Eric opened up about his lack of structured family life and says, “I’d never seen my mom and dad together.” From there, he sort of runs through it as the soft piano plays, but that sentence is important, and I say that from personal experience.

If you’ve got a parent who’s dead, or lives overseas, or is in jail, that’s one experience. But if you’ve got two able-bodied people who simply do not want to be in each other’s company and happen to be your parents, it’s a situation that affects you a little differently. For example, I have exactly one picture of me, my mother and my father in the same place at the same time. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand exactly what Eric was going through in this moment, sitting in this house with a squad of people who’ve all done well to establish themselves together.

“I’m listening to Eric talk as we meet him,” Constance says. “I’m watching Eric’s reaction, I’m watching Rachel, comparing it to what she had with Peter, and I’m thinking, I don’t know if they’re on the same playing field as far as, you know, relationshipwise.”

Of course they aren’t. But that’s the whole point. Eric is really and truly trying to better his situation from an emotional health and life prospects standpoint. He doesn’t have random reservations about getting down on a knee more than once in his life. Nor is his mom going to crash-land his relationship and ruin anything.

Constance gave him the third degree, and he was honest with her about never having been in love. He notes that he’s grown to this point, which is about as honest a thing as you’ll hear on a show like this, ever. Rachel’s cousin likes Eric better than Peter. “He’s not a fairy-tale person. He’s very real,” she said.

“I love her in a way, unconditionally. I’m not in love with her, but for me, when I say those words and I give that, it means a lot to me. The way I look at it, I’m here for you no matter what,” Eric says. “I just want her to know that I can be the man I know I am.”

This is the point where I stood up on my couch in my Whaboom tank top and started applauding. Personal connection aside, I’m completely in the tank for this dude in life, never mind the show. He’s the only black man left. He’s showed his actual self on camera, and perhaps most importantly, as a result he genuinely has become a cooler dude as the show has gone on. You can’t make this stuff up. Sure, edits help. But take it from me: It’s not easy to fake it when you don’t know what it looks like to begin with.

Honestly, the rest of this episode was a bit of a blur. There’s only so long I can listen to a man try to explain his way through the cobwebs of his heart on TV before I just start crying and thinking about all the mistakes and missteps I’ve made in life as a result of fear, hubris or some dumb combination of both.

No roses were given out at the end of the episode, which featured a “to be continued …,” but the story of the day for me was Eric. When he smiled after telling Rachel he loved her, you could just feel all that weight come off his chest — not because he’d been holding it in, but because he’d been wanting to feel it.

No matter what happens in the rest of this season, we got to witness a real breakthrough for a person on television this week. Good for him, and good for anyone who respects how hard it is sometimes to show the world who you really are, because you barely know how to show yourself that person either.

Tierra R. Wilkins contributed to this report.

10-year-old entrepreneur Gabby Goodwin’s hair barrettes are changing the game GaBBY Bows are saving lives for frustrated mothers around the nation

We’ve all experienced the joys and pains of pretty hair bows. They’ve been too loose or too tight. They’ve sometimes grown legs and walked away, or have been so clingy we’ve had to cut them out of our beautiful, kinky coils.

Gabrielle “Gabby” Goodwin and her mom, Rozalynn, were all too familiar with the highs and lows of this accessory. Instead of putting up with the hassle, Gabby decided to create a double-face, double-snap barrette that makes it nearly impossible for a bow to perform its usual disappearing act.

Gabby, a 10-year-old entrepreneur from South Carolina, and Rozalynn began designing what are now known as GaBBY Bows five years ago after a frustrated Gabby insisted that the pair should “make a bow that works.” From there, the mother-daughter duo began experimenting with different hair accessories before settling on their own design with a double-face enclosure that secures the bow to the hair for minimal slippage. In a demonstration video, the hair is wrapped around the center of the barrette while the double-snap design holds the hair in place.

“My mommy and I solved the age-old problem of disappearing girls’ hair barrettes,” Gabby wrote on her website. “… GaBBY Bows won’t slip out of pigtails and pin-ups. We have never lost a bow!”

“My advice to other girls is if you believe you can achieve,” Gabby wrote. “Try your best, work hard, and persevere and never give up.”

In its three years of operation, GaBBY Bows has gained major attention. There have been positive testimonials from mothers across the country praising Gabby’s ingenious invention. In 2015, Gabby earned recognition as the South Carolina Young Entrepreneur of the Year. The following year, Gabby was named the American Small Business Champion by SCORE and Sam’s Club, and GaBBY Bows was named SCORE’s Outstanding Diverse Business of the Year.

As Gabby’s ideas grew, Rozalynn helped her daughter create a Kickstarter page to expand the brand. After they raised $28,000 from more than 300 supporters, there have been online orders filled in 50 states and eight countries. Gabby also received a distribution that allows the bows to be sold in 50 Once upon a child stores in 16 states across the nation, according to the GaBBY Bows website.

Gabby not only wants to solve hair problems but also hopes to inspire other young girls with their own ideas.

“My advice to other girls is if you believe you can achieve,” Gabby wrote. “Try your best, work hard, and persevere and never give up.”

Nicki Minaj collaboration with Tasha Cobb draws mixed reactions on social media The hip-hop gospel crossover is due to be released in August

An unorthodox musical collaboration just shook the gospel music scene.

No Frauds rapper Nicki Minaj joined forces with gospel superstar Tasha Cobbs on a new song, I’m Getting Ready, which will be featured on Cobbs’ new album, Heart. Passion. Pursuit. Twitter was baffled, with mixed feelings and shock.

Mixed reactions are conventional when these two particular genres collaborate. Kirk Franklin took major shots and social backlash after he was featured on Kanye West’s “Ultralight Beam” song on his The Life of Pablo album that was released early last year. However, Cobbs, a Grammy Award-winning singer, doesn’t seem to be fazed by the backlash as she continues to promote the album.

Fans are eager to hear this track to see if gospel will be a new endeavor in Minaj’s career. The album’s release is set for Aug. 25.

Daily Dose: 7/25/17 Cavs owner Dan Gilbert apologizes to the city of Detroit

Some of y’all are still arguing over what happened with Lawrence on Insecure, but let’s not overlook the tremendous sweatshirt that Issa Rae was wearing at one point. If you want to know where to find it, it’s here.

You might know Dan Gilbert as the owner of the NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers. But he’s also a big landowner in Detroit. And by landowner, I mean part of one of the bigger real estate undertakings in the Motor City. His company, Bedrock, posted the above ad for an office building downtown. Clearly, this is nowhere close to representative of what that city looks like, so the words of that slogan are doubly insulting. Well, Gilbert apologized. And it wasn’t just a my bad, it was actually pretty lengthy and detailed, so good for him, I guess.

Life can be a hassle. Staying organized, between identification, money and keys, is not exactly the easiest task. So what better way to handle one of those tasks than letting your employer embed a microchip in your hand, right? All you’ve got to do is swipe your claws around the office to get into the building, or to buy lunch! So, convenient, no? If my bank could do this so I didn’t have to carry money around, I’d consider it. But, for the most part, having the job to track your every movement is suboptimal for basically everyone on earth.

If you ever doubted that John McCain was an American hero, you can put that to rest. The Arizona senator — who was captured in Vietnam and held as a prisoner of war before going on to an illustrious political career, including a run for president — was diagnosed with brain cancer last week. But he’s coming back to the Senate on Tuesday because his nation needs him on the latest Republican health care bill. This isn’t just a matter of optics and symbolism — his vote is critical. He could be the difference in whether America takes care of itself.

Robert Griffin III has one more chance in the NFL. After he was run into the ground in Washington, thus torpedoing his career for one playoff win, he was forced to sit an entire season. Then he split with his wife, and before the divorce papers were dry he was having another baby with an Estonian heptathlete. Oh, and wearing suits on the beach. Now, the Los Angeles Chargers are going to bring him in for a workout. The issue wasn’t the talent most recently. It was the ability to stay on the field.

Free Food

Coffee Break: When I first heard “Shimmy Shimmy Ya” in a Samuel Adams ad, I wasn’t disappointed. Such is the life cycle of popular and transcendent music genres. Now, the RZA is teaming up with Chipotle to bring you original beats. You can make your own, too!

Snack Time: If you’ve ever wondered why Anthony Scaramucci was brought back to the White House after being rebuffed for a job the first time around? Well, he had to complete his “How to Act Like Donald Trump” training.

Dessert: When Curren$y drops new mixtapes, I keep you informed. Behold, The Champagne Files.

Jazmyn Simon is planning her real-life wedding to Dulé Hill, and loves hanging with her ‘brothers’ on HBO’s ‘Ballers’ But she still has time for political arguments, electric cars and breaking stereotypes

Enjoying a successful career? Check. Engaged to the man of her dreams? Check. Living her best life? Double check. Though the year has been a whirlwind for actress Jazmyn Simon, it’s one the 36-year-old co-star of the hit HBO series Ballers would not trade for the world. With the third season of Ballers underway, Simon is looking forward to showing viewers a different side of her character, Julie Greane, who has played the role of a supportive wife to Charles Greane (Omar Benson Miller), an ex-NFL player who struggles to find his identity off the football field.

“The first two seasons, [Julie] was really just Charles’ backbone, trying to help him decide what he’s supposed to do … and that definitely goes on in season three too,” Simon says of her character. “But this season, she kind of steps out on her own. You see her go to work for the first time, which is very important for me. [It’s] one thing to be a wife and another thing to be a mother, but it’s a whole other thing to be a wife, mother and have your own things. She’s a doctor, and many people don’t realize she’s a doctor because she never went to work.”

Life can get a bit hectic in Hollywood, but that doesn’t stop Simon from making time for the important things, including binge-watching her favorite shows, winning political arguments, and being engaged to and planning her wedding with fellow Ballers star Dulé Hill.

What’s your favorite part about playing Julie Greane?

I got to break a stereotype. It’s always good for a black woman to be able to break a stereotype. When you think of a football player’s wife, you automatically think of negative stuff, and you don’t really think that this is just a doctor who loves her husband and supports him no matter what he does. And that is the thing that I’m most proud of and most excited about, what the writers have done and what I’ve been able to do with this character.

What was one of the craziest moments you’ve had on set?

We had this one party scene last season and it was Ricky’s (John David Washington) birthday. They only showed a little of it, but I tell you, when you get all of us together, the whole cast and a whole bunch of people at a pool party, it gets weird. It’s a lot of shenanigans that go on when all of us are together in a party scene. Working with a bunch of guys is fun in general, but things get wild when all of us are together.

“I was telling them it was so fun to be out with my brothers, and Dulé was like, ‘So we’re clear, I’m not your brother.’ And now … he’s my fiancé.”

Are there any actors you’re closest to? Or are they all just treated like brothers?

Well, I’m engaged to one of them, so that one is definitely not my brother. It’s funny because 3 1/2 years ago when we first started shooting, I went out with all the guys … just a bunch of us. I was telling them it was so fun to be out with my brothers, and Dulé was like, ‘Just so we’re clear, I’m not your brother.’ And now 3 1/2 years later, he’s my fiancé. I love him. He’s the best. I’m the closest with Donovan Carter, who plays Vernon Littlefield. Me and Donovan are like siblings.

Have you ever been starstruck?

I very rarely get starstruck. I get excited. President Obama was the most starstruck I had been. He and Michelle Obama were everything. That meeting was just everything to me. I will tell you the first table read that I had for Ballers, the very first one after I booked it, they sat me directly across from Dwayne [Johnson], and the entire time I was in that table read my knees would not stop shaking. I kept thinking, ‘That is The Rock. Oh, my gosh.’ Like, come on. I still have to pinch myself and say, ‘Girl, you have Dwayne’s phone number. That’s The Rock. If you need to talk to him, you can just call.’ I was starstruck that day, and my blood pressure was probably very high. The awe has definitely worn off in 3 1/2 years just because I know him and I love him. He’s definitely a brother to me.

If you weren’t acting, what would you be doing?

Trying to act. My first job out of college was at HBO, so if I wasn’t on an HBO show, I’d probably be an executive at HBO. I was a sales assistant in the Chicago office. Full circle. Life is good in that way.

“So if you see me riding around town with my falcon doors, just say, ‘What’s up?’ “

Julie has great fashion sense, and I’m sure Jazmyn does, too. What’s your current fashion obsession?

Shout-out to Tiffany, our costume designer, because Julie’s clothes are always on point. And Jazmyn’s clothes are not as cool as Julie’s. I do like a nice pair of jeans though. I will spend some dollars on a pair of jeans. I’ll put on jeans with a white T-shirt and an expensive purse and call it a day. Jazmyn likes fashion, but she’s not wearing Alexander McQueen to cook dinner like Julie is. Julie is the baller. Jazmyn is on Ballers. See the difference there?

What’s the last show you binge-watched?

Oh my gosh. I have a couple. The Handmaid’s Tale was the bomb, but it wouldn’t let me binge it because Hulu is mean. They only made it once a week. Over Christmas break, I rewatched every episode of Game of Thrones because that is my all-time favorite. I can just watch Game of Thrones right now. But I’ve also been bingeing Sense8 and The Leftovers right now.

What will you always be the champ of?

Political arguments. I will always win a political argument. Always. Don’t come for me, because I feel like I’m Anderson Cooper. I know the most.

What is the worst purchase you ever made?

I’m gonna tell you the truth. I was in Vancouver shooting something and me, trying to be a baller, I was like, ‘I need some new sunglasses.’ So I bought these Christian Dior metallic, reflective sunglasses and they were like $700. And when I tell you those shades are in the bottom of my purse somewhere … I can’t wear those in real life. And every time I think about it, I get mad because I’m like, that $700 could’ve gone on something else. They’re in a purse somewhere in my closet.

And best purchase?

The most baller purchase I’m about to make is this Tesla X. I cannot wait. I’m ordering it in October, so hopefully I’ll have it in November. So if you see me riding around town with my falcon doors, just say, ‘What’s up?’

“Julie is the baller. Jazmyn is on Ballers. See the difference there?”

What are you looking forward to achieving in the rest of 2017?

Girl, I’m planning my wedding! I’m planning the wedding of my dreams so hopefully, after all this planning, I will achieve the perfect wedding. I love work, but love is so much better. Love is the best. I’m also auditioning for a movie, so hopefully I’ll book that too. Everybody put good vibes out there.

If you could go to dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

Beyoncé. I just need to know how she named the twins Rumi and Sir. And I have a question: Is it Sir Carter Carter or just Sir Carter? These are the questions I need to go to dinner with Beyoncé to ask her. Let’s put that out there. I’ll have a seat for her [at the wedding].

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Don’t forget who you are. Every day before I left my house — I lived with my grandmother until I was of age to move out on my own, and every day before I left, she said, ‘Don’t forget who you are.’ When you’re 10 years old you really don’t understand that, and when you’re 15 years old you don’t really understand that. But today, I understand that more than ever because I’m in a town full of actors and full of Hollywood executives, and this business is not for the faint of heart. And if you let people, they will take you out of yourself. They’ll make you something that you are not. So every day, before I leave the house, I say, ‘Do not forget who you are,’ and it keeps me humble, grounded and accountable for the decisions I make every day.

This conversation has been edited for clarity and length.